Life, 1925-01-29 · page 15 of 37
Life — January 29, 1925 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page nominates various figures for a "Boobs' Gallery"—a humorous feature satirizing public figures the magazine considers foolish. The left column praises several men for various forms of incompetence or legal evasion: Henry W. Anon (quantity production in literature), John Doe (always available for dubious activities), Richard Roe (cashing bad checks), and Morgan R. Van Astor (comic magazine contributions). The cartoon depicts a classical scene labeled "Famous Boobs of History," showing Columbus at a table with a globe, receiving what appears to be mockery about believing the world was round—a historically inaccurate but commonly held myth. Below is a sketch of a man outside "Pastime Photoplay Theatre," captioned with a joke about waiting for a woman named Pola Negri. The page mixes character sketches with satirical observations about American society's foolish figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
: LIFE ~ We Nominate for the Boobs’ Gallery Henry W. Anon, ECAUSE he has done more that: any one—except per- haps Mr. Hearst—to introduce quantity production into the literature industry. Because he has written sonnets, hymns and letters to the editor with commendable impar- lity, and is equally gifted in each field. Because he does not go about making speeches at Browning Clubs and Thursday Afternoon Literary Societies. John Doe. Because he can always be depended upon to do something interesting, like murdering his wife's relations or setting fire to the First Methodist Church. Because he has never been convicted of a crime, although his name has appeared on countless police warrants. Because he has never been caught, being as elusive as a derby set free by a high wind. Richard Roe. Because he has never tried to cash the thousands of sample checks made out in his name that appear in adver- ments. Because he is our most versatile American, the ng of the correspondence schools, being at will any- from a captain of industry to a file clerk. Morgan R. Van Astorbilt. Because of his long and faithful service in our comic nagazines and on the stage. Because to the average Ameri can he is the embodiment of that mysterious creature, the Financier. Because he has never had the amount of his income tax published. Simple Simon: Say, YVE BEEN WAITING FOR POLA NEGRI FOR TWO HOURS. DON’T SHE EVER GO HOME? FAMOUS BOOBS OF HISTORY COLUMBUS—THE POOR SIMP WHO BELIEVED THAT THE WORLD IS ROUND John Citizen, Because he is the ever-ready veteran of the editorial page. Because generations of cartoonists have not dared to give him other than an openly honest countenance. Because, in spite of his being pointed out as a model, he has never voted, paid taxes or attended church. Pat and Mike. Because they are the best-known of the Irish. Because, as our leading humorists, they have saved unnumbered ban- queters from death by gas. Because they are the most quoted and misquoted men in the world John C. Emery. Lire’s Little Sermons O, the poor Boob! He knoweth not whither he gocth nor why—and yet Solomon in all his wisdom were not as sure as one of these. He crieth aloud against the Administration but seldom voteth, He spendeth his sustenance for oil stock and decrieth modern extravagance. He sitteth up the entire night while he listeneth to a jazz band but yet he declaimeth, “Early to bed and early to rise maketh a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” He liveth in the hope of a score under a hundred. And he is happy. But we pity him and decry his aimlessness For we, too, are boobs Stuart Little. Perfectly Clear . S you may readily see,” said the magician to the audi- ence, “I have nothing up my sleeve.” “As you must know, dear,” said the woman to the man, “T wouldn't dream of deceiving you.” comicbooks.com