Life — January 22, 1925 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE s Ange San Francisco Sailing from From San Francisco New York via Los Angeles jan. 22 FINLAND Feb. 1 eb. 12 MANCHURIA Mar. Feb.26 MONGOLIA Mar. 21 Apply Dept. C, No. 1 Broadway, New York; 460 Market Street, San Francisco, or any authorized steamship agent. PANAMA PACIFIC jonas Meneanviie Manins Specialization Very Mucu Worrten Man (running into office of throat specialist) : Doctor! Doctor! Come quickly! My little girl has swallowed a button. Sprectauist: What kind of button? Very Muci Worrten Man: Cellu- loid. It came from—— Spectauist (holding up hand): You'll have to go to Dr. Wilkinson if. it's celluloid; I remove only metal ones with an embossed design. By mail at wholesale from one of the world’s largest dealers in Vac+ uum Cleaners for only $2975 BRAND NEW LATEST MODELS Free trial and easy payments of Only $5.00 down and $5.00 per meet anywhere in the U. 5. A. Ne References Ne Collector Jae we we we ee Send Coupon Today meee a — ——=| Vacuum Cleaner Specialty Co. 111 W. 42nd St., N.Y.C, Bept. IA ‘Send full particulars and easy payment plan. Ling My Kiwanis Jane (Up to a Late Hour Last Night, Be- lieved to Have Been Written in Smith- ville) Wuere full-o’-pep Kiwanis meets, I met my darling Jane: Beside the Booster Chart, whose feats Made dry statistics plai Whose leaping curve, with ev'ry swerve, Was Pep articulate: As Smithville soared in ranking toward The 14th in the State. Enrapt she stood, where all around Enhanced her beauty’s glamour : Her voice more sweet with ev'ry sound; Her form, with ev'ry clamor ; Her soul, Kiwanis-like, alive With vim inviolate— As one and all cheered Smithville’s drive For 14th in the State. Ah, always, Jane, you'll be to me As when I saw you first: Your features wreathed in ecstasy, As in the room there burst A lad to say he'd heard, in re Our follow-up campaign: We'd got the plants of Levy—“Pants"— A clear 9,000 gain! Though youth and beauty fade, until But wint'ry Age's rigor Enshrouds your form, and in its chill Expire pep and vigor; Yet always will my soul revere Its true and cherished mate— Because you helped make Smithville, dear, The Mth in the State! G.R. Jonesville Goes into Conference “I wantep to get the 11:04 on the Nickel Plate but I've got to wait over till the 2:08 on the Monon,” said the gray-haired traveling salesman to the head barber in the Hotel New Trianon, Jonesville. “The proprietor of the New Bon Marché was in three con- ferences this morning and he has two more this afternoon, but he sent out word he would see me for seven minutes at half-past one. “When I started making Jonesville thirty years ago the only place you ever heard the word ‘conference’ was in a spelling match. That was before our business men had been consecrated to the law of service. This hotel was merely the Smith House and business men's lunch clubs and Thousand Island dressing hadn't been invented. “The old-timers I called on then didn't look on storekeeping as an art and didn’t think they had a Message. All they knew was buying low and sell- ing high and discounting their bills. But you seldom saw one of them in conference with the sheriff.” McC. H. SIHNOOP HALLENBECK CRAWTORD CONPANT, REW TORK The Five in Golf . TuERe is a just limit to everything. In the game of golf it is five. Some- thing about a five in the square of a scorecard is irresistibly, indescribably, foolishly pleasing. It tells so much. It can mean so many different things. Of course, twos, threes, and fours have their places. Who will deny that? They are the glories in life; the unex- pected and undeserved triumphs; We are glad they exist and hope to get a few to-morrow on our morning round But they, in their small way, indicate merely superlative golf, whereas the five (O blessed number!) may signify a long hole outrageously well done, a less long hole not badly done, a short hole—well, accomplished with difficu' but still with honor. Sixes and sevens —we shall not venture higher—are the demi-monde of golf. We rub shoulders with them, but we are ashamed. \ meet them, but we dislike it. Shov the man, though, who is honestly cha- grined at recording a drive, an iron, a mashie, and two putts, or whatever makes the equivalent, and I will show you one who sees the fairway through smoked glasses and who never replaces a divot....“What did you make there, Bill?” “It’s a five,” Bill says, and the bunkers look a little smaller, and the flags a little nearer, and the day grows a bit sunnier, and he is exquisitely D. McC content. Sure Way to Get Rid of Dandruff There is one sure way that never fails to remove dandruff completely, and that is to dissolve it. Then you destroy it entirely, To do this, just apply a little Liquid Arvon at night before retiring; use enough to moisten the scalp and rub it in gently with the finger tips. By morning, most, if not all, of your dandruff will be gone, and two or three more applications will completely dissolve and entirely destroy every single sign and trace of it no matter how much dandruff you ma! ave. = You will find, too, that all itching of the scalp will stop instantly, and your hair will be lustrous, glossy, silky and soft, and look and feel a hundred times better. You can get Liquid Arvon at any drug store, and a four ounce bottle is all you will need. This simple remedy has never been known to fail. LIQUID ARVON comicbooks.com