Life — December 25, 1924 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘The most exacting travelers find great- est delight in the equipment and ser- vice of Bermuda's newest hotel. Eve: room exquisitely furnished, and afford- ing a beautiful vi w of harbor, hills or tropical gardens, Splendid orchestra, original entertain- ments. All outdoor sports throughout winter. Opens January 16. Vor bentiet, write Jobe 0. rans. Manager, otal Ber oadians, Hamilton, terepa CA Harvey Br gn Dies Bake ST Wiens New Vere To Diana, and Others Whew I was twenty years and one, Bravely [ moved about and gay, Seeking what maiden might be won, Moonlight and poesy in my pay. Gold I had not, but such is trash. (Voices: “Say, have paged.”) I was a gallant lad, and rash, So I went big with the middle-aged. ow Tam sixty years and past, Wearied a bit and prone to nap. Somehow, everything moves too fast, Rushing an old and outworn chap. Gold I've garnered, but what is that? (Voices: “Say, is it still unhung?”) Hair departing and—yes, I'm fat, So I'm a hit with the very young. J. K, al. NOT SO HELPFUL “HAVE YOU A BOOK CALLED ‘How TO COPE WITH THE HIGH Cost “yes; BUT 1 THE PRICE OF IT MAS JUST BEEN RAISE —Le Rire (Paris). - LIFE - While Daddy Says Grace (If Each of Us Thought Out Loud) Davpy: This is a pretty expensive occasion, but Christmas is just one of those rare times to get the whole family together. Guess it’s worth it, at that. Wish the doc hadn't cut me off on starchy foods. Morner: He swore it was a sixteen- pound bird, and it's no bigger than a squab. And I know the cider’s too hard. Table looks nice, though. Jim's cousins needn't act so sniffy—everybody knows how they made their money. Sister: Why will Dad wear that suit with the patched elbow? These people will think we haven't a cent. Throwing their wet coats on.my bed! Family reunions don't register much of a hit with me, and you can shout that off the henhouse! Brotuer: Gosh, I'd never have known Uncle Ben. He looks like the lead in a comic strip. Kid next to him isn't so bad—wonder who she is; prob- ably some cousin. Wonder if I'll make the basketball team—let’s eat, for the love o' Mike! Brivcet: It may be Christmas fer some, but it’s hell on cooks. Kids swarmin’ into every dish like bees— things bilin’ over, an’ groceries late. Wance a year is wance too many fer Bette: Mary certainly has her hands full with this mob. If Junior dangles his tie in the soup, I'll never get over it. You might know I'd draw the hard kitchen chair to sit in. Junior: Olluvs, 'n’ celery, 'n’ turkey, ‘tn’ mashed podadoes, ’n’ cramberries, ‘n' razens, 'n’ punkin pie 'n’ plum puddin’. Oh, boy! Uncte Bex: I'm glad Jim’s the good provider in this clan. Hate to have "em all descend on me. Like to know the brat that smashed my hat—I'd take that shiny dime back quicker'n a wink. Looks like a swell feed, though. Lite Retu: Don't lick your fingers, or pinch Junior, or be saucy to Aunt Mary. Say “Thank you, Uncle Ben,” if he gives you a dime. Don't wipe yer mouth on the table- cloth, 'n’ don’t bother Bridget. Remem- ber, Mother's got her eye on you. GranpMa: Well, well, well, three generations gathered round the board. Think of it. It’s good to see the family together again—if only they'd listen to me, too, S.J. Fable Once upon a time there was a soda clerk who put the right drink in front of the right person. He didn’t slop any of it about, either. “Wnuo will stand back of the used car you buy?” asks an automobile dealer, That's not so important as who will be under it, LUXURIOUS CRUISE to the ever blue Caribbean, on the Great White Fleet— Havana, a minia- ture Paris, set down in the palm groves of Cuba; luxuriant Jamaica, with its wonderful motor roads; the engineering wonders of the Canal Zone; lovely Costa Rica, quaint Guatemala, the century-old Colom- bian ports. And, wherever you go ease and comfort; an opportunity for complete rest for mind and body, due to the high quality of service that has made Great White Fleet cruises famed the world over. It is a fact that you can get more thoughtful, personal attention on a Great White Fleet Cruise than you can on any other trip—by land or sea. Everything that can contribute to your comfort from the carefully selected meals to delightful auto trips ashore is planned by experts. You are a Guest and with tactful care ships officers and shore representa- tives plan your itinerary so that every day of your trip remains as a pleasant memory. This wonderful service is made pos- sible because it is constant. We do not hurriedly equip a ship for a cas- ual cruise to the tropics. Twice a week every week in the year Great White Fleet Ships sail from New York and New Orleans. You can plan your cruise at any time for Great White Fleet Ships sail southward with ferry boat like regularity. ‘We shall be glad to send you our new illus trated booklet ” Caribbean Crumes” which Temes of the ich uality of Great Pleet service. Address Passenger Department UNITED FRUIT COMPANY Room 1634, 17 Battery Place, N.Y. General Offices, 1 Federal St., Boston, Mass, comicbooks.com