Life, 1924-12-11 · page 11 of 36
Life — December 11, 1924 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces about early 20th-century business and social customs: **"The Business Primer"** mocks corporate jargon through nonsense rhymes about a "CON-FER-ENCE" and board meetings, satirizing how business-speak obscures simple activities. **"The Mem-o-ran-dum Pad"** jokes about office inefficiency—these pads supposedly collect notes and phone numbers, then get lost, causing financial damage. The satire targets how poor office organization wastes time and money. **"Sweet Charity"** depicts Christmas gift-giving awkwardness, illustrating how someone frantically assembles mismatched presents for church charity. The accompanying mastodon cartoon suggests absurd, impractical gift choices. **"Bringing in the Yule Log"** describes holiday log distribution as a unionized, commercialized enterprise with strikes and price speculation—satirizing how even traditions become profit-driven enterprises. These pieces mock Victorian-era business culture, office inefficiency, and commercialized charity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Business Primer THE CON-FER-ENCE CON R-ENCE is now be-gun— £% Oh, let's sneak up and see the fun! Pres-i-dent, with man-ner weight-y Tells how he went a-round in eight-y; he V.-P., with a pen-cil and las-tic, mim-ics Sou-sa’s Band; And that is why, as you will see, lhe Board is B-O-R-E-D. THE MEM-O-RAN-DUM PAD Mem-o-ran-dum Pad be-hold : are quite man-i-fold; p-on it one draws squares and cones \nd cir-cles, while one tel-e-phones— And scrib-bles down a few ad-dress-es ; lat-er, when need for them press-es, You'll find out, great-ly to your cost, A Mem-o Pad is al-ways lost! A.C. M. Azoy, Ir. Sweet Charity HE happy Christian, after long struggles to fit the list of presents to the bank account, numerous trips home loaded down under all shapes and es of packages, a life-and-death truggle with the Christmas tree, a catch-as-catch-can bout with the turkey n the Christmas dinner platter,—after sll these blessings, drops a dollar in Then “YA OUGHTA SEE THE SWELL THINGS THE EY WAS AST! THE TEA SHE GIVE. MS. PIN FOUNDRY 'N’ SHE NEWS SAID ABOUT SAYS IF THEY WAS ONE THEY WAS A DOZEN KEGS ROLLED IN.” the church Christmas offering out of pity for the poor heathen, who has no Christmas at all but who sits, peaceful and happy, fanning himself with a leaf and cating fruit in the shade of a palm tree. We LL. W. Critical Mastodon (to Pterodactyl): 1 s'POSE HE'S ALL RIGHT FR AN EXPERIMENT, BILL, BUT TAKE IT FR'M ME—HE WON'T LAST TWO STRATA! Bringing in the Yule Log (As It Would Be Done in 1924) ULE Log is cut by Lumbermen's Union and is sent by logging rail- way to nearest shipping point of the National Yule Log Corporation. There consigned with other Yule Logs to the Yule Log Distributing Agency and loaded on a flat car. Train of Yule Logs starts for city. Yule Log sold to jobber or whole- saler, f. 0. b. New York. Yule Log speculators get Yule Log and hold it with thousands of others to jack up price to retailers. Retailers tell consumers that “owing to the great scarcity of suitable timber, Yule Logs will be high this season.” Yule Log Handlers’ Union strikes for fifteen dollars a day and shorter working hours. Public is notified that Yule Logs will be sold only on the cash-and-carry prin- ciple, one to a customer. Consumers strike; gas logs substi- tuted, A. H. F. Father Gander 'O Wall Street, to Wall Street to buy a few stocks. Home again, home again, minus my socks, comicbooks.com