Life — November 13, 1924 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TEAM ! : LR - HAW =VARD: HAW-VARD! HAW-VARD, Team! TEAM! SPORTING CHANTS Scientific Tales for Scientific Tots What Happened to the Rude Little Eel AM going to tell you about some of the wonderful things that can take place in a little pool, just the same sort of a little marshy pool that any of us can see by merely going out and looking until we find a little marshy pool. I hope I can make you desire to go out and lie down in a marshy pool and just stare and stare at all the marvels. Well, in this little pool there were a great many baby eels. Most of them were of the common Anguillida family, but some were foreigners of the Murznide and Nemichthyide fam- ilies. There were also some very proud little cels who kept to them- selves, for they were Electric Eels of the Gymnotide family. They were rude to the other little cels of com- mon families, and when they saw a lot of those vulgar eels playing they would steal up on them from behind and give them terrible shocks by dis- charging electricity from longitudinal bodies lying between the skin and the muscles of the caudal region. They would then sympathize with their vic- tims and pretend that they had no idea who had discharged the electricity. Naturally, the common little eels hated the electric eels. Well, one day a bright little boy was playing by the marshy pool, and he saw an eel swimming gaily about in the water. He thought it was a common or fresh-water cel of the order Apodes, and put his finger in the water. But it was the biggest and the boldest of the electric eels! In a spirit of bravado the eel dis- charged his electricity and gave the little boy a dreadful shock! But the boy had studied electricity. Heedless of the electric shocks he clutched the cel and carried him off home. He then un- hooked the battery of his radio set and hooked in the eel. Thus, for day after day that unhappy cel was obliged to supply the power for speeches by Senators and operatic selections on xylo- phones. He was soon very sorry for the way he had treated the poor, defenseless eels, but he saw no escape; so one day he simply put his tail in his mouth and_ short- circuited himself. This should teach us who live in that larger pool called the World not to bully little boys and girls of foreign families. Morris Bishop. ONES: How big a farm did you buy? Situ: Oh, between three and four golf courses. DD to list of modern hus- band’s duties — tune out radio each night. What the Big Game Means O HER—A gorgeous riot of color and action, the thrill of being in- troduced as “Tom's girl, you know,” new furs, a breathless automobile ride, midnight dinner and dancing. To Him—Just about everything, with the possible exception of Her. To His Mother—Frantic preparation of picnic lunch, a bale of coats, sweat- ers, and blankets, the dust of a million motor cars, too much excitement, and a fierce desire to leap out of the stands and yank those men off Tom. To His Father—Arising in the chill dawn, filling what shops advertise as a “container,” casually exhibiting sport- page clippings to business friends, a summons or two from alien motorcycle cops, recurrence of rheumatic twinges from contact with cold concrete. To Villages en route—Fines from actual and alleged speed maniacs which assure (1) the new court house by spring, (2) the regilding of. the Union soldier in the square, (3) a half-interest in the local filling sta- tion by the two motorcycle policemen. Stanley Jones. Modus Vivendi “poor Ella, they say she is living in a non-housekeeping apartment.” “That's what she gets for marrying a non-housekeeping husband.” NEXT STOP Lady Bug: WELL, Goop-BY, AGNES—I'LL MEET YOU AT THE FIRST BUNKER. comicbooks.com