Life — October 2, 1924 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“HT MusT OC WONDERFUL TO BE AN AUTHOR” JULIUS ROSENWALD GREAT MOMENTS IN CHICAGO HISTORY MR. SEARS ROEBUCK AUTOGRAPHS A COPY OF HIS CATALOGUE FOR AN ADMIRER When East Meets West RESIDENT of Chicago met a resident of New York on La Salle Street. (I say La Salle Street both to lend local color to the story and .to show I know my Chicago, as we writ- ers say.) “I'd rather live in Chicago than Ne: York any day,” said the Chicago resi- dent. “I admit the stockyards smell bad—terrible, in fact. But at that it's no worse than the Jersey glue factories just across the Hudson when the wind is right. Anyhow, we don't get it on the North Side.” “Perhaps,” said the New York res dent as the other paused for breath, “The soft-coal smoke is bad, too, I grant,” went on the Chicago resident. “But that drawback is easily remedied by buying an extra dozen collars and washing six times an hour instead of two. And anyhow, I hear they’re burn- ing soft coal there now, so there can't be much difference.” “Is that so?” said the New resident. “A lot of New Yorkers knock our transportation system, too,” said the Chicagoan. “Well, the trains are pretty slow and they're cold in winter, but traveling on them is no worse than standing an hour with your wrist York jammed under your chin in a Subway _ train, where it was pushed by the in- rushing crowd as you stood on the plat- form trying to. read paper.” You may be right,” said the New Yorker, lighting a cigarette. hen look at our marvelous beaches,” your evening continued the Chicagoan, warming to his subject. Miles of them, right along the lake front! Step across the street from your apartment on a sum mer day in your bathing suit and there you are, ready for a cooling dip. No disagreeable ride from Concy Island in a crowded train afterward to spoil your pleasure. “But the thing I like best about Chi- cago is the people. They aren't provin- cial, like New Yorkers. They don't act as if Chicago was the only town on earth, No! They're friendly. “Ii you don't believe me, an empty restaurant in New York, get a table and watch the first man that comes in. He'll stand in the doorway a moment, look right through you and ther. go over to the farthest t. you in the room and start reading the paper. In Chicago he'd come straight tc your table, sit down and start a friendly conversation. Yes, sir, every time! “That's what I like best about Chi- cago—the friendliness of the people. They aren't cold and aloof like New go into ble from Yorkers. Now be honest and admit I'm right!” “Well, I like New York all right,” said the other. There you go!” said the first bit- terly. “Can't see any other place but ew York. I might have known it!” “Well,” replied the New York resi- dent, “they say a naturalized person often likes his adopted residence bet- ter than his birthplace. I was born in Chicago, but went to New York eleven years ago to take charge of my firm's Eastern branch. You've lived here all your life, though, I suppose? “Well, not exactly,” Chicagoan. “Only five years. Moved from New York. I'm running the house’s Chicago office.” Baron Ireland. here Little Lessons in American for Prospective Citizens A Lesson in Sreakinc Easy WALK to the door. | look around. I knock on the door. | am told to come in. I open the door. I walk in. 1 close the door. IT walk across the room. I order a drink. A Lesson 1x Numpers A taxi rounds the corner on 1 wheel T hold up 1 hand. The taxi stops with 70 screechings. I enter. In 3 places in the taxi it is printed that the fare is 20 cents for 1 mile. I go 2 miles. I get out I pay the driver $1.45. His Walk in Life ORRIED MOTHER: I'm sure I don't know what we'll ever do with Harold when he grows up, John. Did you ever see such impossibly long legs? “Don't worry, my dear. Perhaps we can let him out to realtors to prove that their houses are within easy wa ing distance of the station.” ROM the Book of Similes- quickly forgotten as an unsuccess- ful presidential candidate. comicbooks.com