Life — July 31, 1924 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

: TPE “Britons Never, Never” (Etc.) (“Prohibition Gaining in England.”—Hcadline.) FOUND me in The Rose and Crown, Weary from Devon's hills and dales, And in the tap-room sat me down With other tired and thirsty males; Oh, when my last sweet memory fails, That beer shall stir my senile grins! When tavern-keepers crowd the gaols, What shall be done with English Inns? Dare men deprive each little town Of Pig and Whistle, Sword and Scales? Can vandals turn the legal frown On Marlbro Arms, or Prince of Wales? O pot-boy, rattling mugs and pails, And bottles brought from dusty bins, When you're a myth from fairy-tales, What shall be done with English Inns? Where shall be England's old renown When taverns light no English vales? No cozy roof for lord and clown From summer suns and winter gales? When you shall trade your foaming ales For secret and synthetic gins And bellywash that stinks and stales—- What shall be done of English Inns? L'Envoi I'm sitting in The Three Black Snails, An exile for my country’s sins... . The tankards shine like golden Grails.... What shall be done of English Inns? Ted Robinson. PASSER-BY: Hey! You've got a bite! FisHerMan: I know it. I'm prolonging the thrill. Ambitious Applicant: YES, SiR, THE WAGES IS ALL RIGHT—BUT 1S ALL THEM FELLERS ahead OF me FER THE PRESIDENCY OF THE FIRM? THE ETERNAL ANGLE The Biography of a Piece of Scandal UGUST 2—Told (in strict confidence) by Mrs. Brown to Mrs. Gufflitz. August 3—Told (in strict confidence, with additional touches) by Mrs. Gufflitz to Mrs. Schmidtwister. August 5—Told (in strict confidence, with additional touches, and variations) by Mrs. Schmidtwister to Mrs. Blung. August 7—Told (in strict confidence, with additional touches, variations, and interposed features) by Mrs. Blung to Mrs. Listerpink. August 9—Told (in the strictest confidence, with addi- tional touches, variations, interposed features, and bits of family history) by Mrs. Listerpink to Mrs. Brown, who didn't recognize a single word of the original. A Blanket Policy LY (to colored woman with grinning infant): Moses Ku Klux Brown! My, what an interesting name for a baby! Cotoren Woman: Yes'm. De Brown am a concession to de law, de Moses am a concession to de Bible, an’ de Ku Klux am a concession to safety. So we jus’ calls him li'l Concession, fo’ shoht. comicbooks.com