Life, 1924-07-03 · page 25 of 36
Life — July 3, 1924 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"In the Swim"** mocks fashionable beach culture, where wealthy people exchange banal pleasantries about perfect swimming conditions while one woman boasts her dress was worn at a White House dinner for the Marquis de Lafayette (early 1800s) — a dated claim meant to be ridiculous. **"The Land of the Free Association"** satirizes inattentive Americans. While someone reads the Declaration of Independence aloud, listeners mentally drift to radio stations (WJZ), multiplication tables, and gossip about affairs. The joke suggests the founding document's ideals bore modern audiences who fixate on trivial concerns. **"Simple Arithmetic"** is a domestic humor quip about marriage finances: a husband's solution to calculating his wife's clothing expenses is to add his income to his debts—implying wives spend beyond means. All three pieces target American social pretension, distraction, and consumer excess circa the 1920s.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
In the Swim SS ENE: A fashionable bath- ang beach, First GENTLEMAN Doesn't the water look refresh- First Lavy It’s too perfect for words. Srconp GENTLEMAN Just enough surf. Seconn Lapy And the right temperature. First Gentleman There's nothing like a dip to vall one together. First Lavy Nothing in the world. Seconp Lapy And swimming’s such wonder- il exercise. Seconp GENTLEMAN Never saw the sea look so in- ting First GentLteman “HANDLE ME CAREFULLY, LIZZIE; THIS DRESS WAS WORN TO A DINNER GIVEN AT THE Pity it's so late. WHITE HOUSE IN 1825 TO GENERAL LAFAYETTE.” First Lapy “LAW, MISS, AN’ IT FITS You YET.” Why, it’s almost one o'clock. Secon GENTLEMAN The Land of the Free Association - vs bab the Sanderbucks to drop A Cross Section of an Attentive Mind Listening to a Reading of the i es Declaration of Independence Suppose tence me going “W! , in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people— ~ ° (one people? What kind of bum lish is that?)—to dissolve the politi- Seconn GENTLEMAN cal bands—(they say Paul Whiteman plays “Ciclito Lindo” something marvelous) Might as well. Too bad about the — —which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of swim the carth the separate and equal station—(Station WJZ signing off, good night!) First Gentleman —to which the Laws of Nature—(ain't Nature wonderful?)—and of Nature's God Isn't it? Doesn't the water look re- entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should freshing ? s declare—(that d.- fool left me in a one double, last night)—the causes which impel them to the separation—(twonder how Brown and that red-headed wife of his are getting along?). “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created cqual—(two times two is four)—that they are en- dowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights— (two times three is six, two times four is eight, two times four i-s e-i-g-h-t)—that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness—(ttwo-times f-five s’s’ ten)—That to se- cure these rights, Governments are instituted, among Men— (Out'n Grea’ Op'n Spaces...)—deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed—(two time six...ah-poo o22...552...)—That whenever any Form of Government be- comes destructive of these ends—(... . oes)” Henry William Hanemann, Simple Arithmetic One of the Younger Borgias: YES, 11's A GOOD POISON ARK Have you ever stopped to figure how much your FOR GENERAL USE, BUT IT ISN'T ANYTHING LIKE THE KIND wife's clothes cost you? THAT MOTHER USED TO MAKE, Lane: That's easy. Just add your income to what you owe. comicbooks.com