Life — May 22, 1924 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Plaint of the Old Concert Goer On, Loko! (Business of sighing.) If 1 were a violinist, I would never If I were a ‘cellist, 1 would never play Traumerci or Rubinstein's Ro- mance lf I were a colora a, I would never sing the Mad Song from “Lucia.” If I were a contralto, I would never do “My Heart at Thy Sweet Voice Hf 1 were I would never If I were a baritone, [ would never do the Prologue from “Pagliacci,” the Largo at Factotum « If I were at ald never imitate Chaliapin’s version of the Volga Soat Song play the Twelfth Rhapsody If 1 were a symphony orchestra, I would never perform the Schubert Un: finished If I were a band, I would never, perpetrate the Poet and Peasant Overture, th Sextette or the Quartette from I should probabl For a Bright Child Ir there s st who, \nd thinks he’s a comedian ; If in his crimes he perseveres Until you're bored almost to tears, room while he’s away And “apple-pie” his bed; repay His silly efforts to amuse By pouring water in his shoes. You may be spanked,—it's worth it thou And possibly the guest will go. G Aunt Emma (watching ecrobats’ turn): DPAK ME, 1 DON'T THINK ULL BUY A RADIO SET AFTER ALL— THAT HEAD-PHONE LOOKS SO IN- CONVENIENT Lustige Blatter (Berlin). SSeS ——< ae ~<a e ee SS SS “Votes for men” are always cast for the fellows who look the part—the chaps who advertise their vigorous spirits by down- deep, . lineless, full o’health faces Hlow do they get that way? “Tis simple. Their faces are as frequently cleaned and pressed as their clothes. And the barber is their face tailor. A Boncilla Facial once a week does the trick. (You'd better have tivo per during the first month.) You can escape that dusty, baggy, frayed appearance that automatically puts you in the second or third-best class. Here’s Your Self-Starter Boncilla makes you a winner by thoroughly cleansing the skin to its innermost depths, stimulating the blood circulation and building up the tissues and muscles. But remember, it must be a 1—2—3—4 job. Oh man, then it’s great. First, the Boncilla Pack. Then the Cold Cream. Next Vanishing Cream. Finally, Boncilla Powder. To miss any of the magic four is to miss part of the kick in this real f When you've finished, pull the cork from your generosit supply and take “her” a complete Boncilla Set. The No. Ideal Set is the ideal gift, or the Pack-O-Beauty, at 5¢ sure-fire hit. Get ‘em at toilet goods counters. wrong. for be urance: hod is guaranteed to do these seven definite things. or your money fefunded Clear the complexion and give it color anse and close enlarged pores inate excess oiliness. nove blackheads and pimples al tissues and 1 and smooth Boncilla \ Laboratories \ Inc } f Indianapolis, Ind. X Canadian Boncilla Laboratories, Ltd. \ Toronto, Ont. \ comicbooks.com