Life — December 13, 1923 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE Wee Books for Wee Folks A-B-C: Beak of Funny Animals| hips To those parents of little children in the very morning of life, Altemus’ Wee Books come as a positive blessing. These stories deal with familiar animals, fairies and simple incidents, and are illustrated lavishly in colors. “The Four Little Pigs That Didn’t Have Any Mother,” for instance, has a few words of text on each left-hand page, and, opposite it, an appropriate illustration. This arrangement holds the attention of the child while the mother is reading aloud the tex As the other volumes of the Wee Books are printed on a somewhat similar plan, the whole may be commended to parents of children between three and seven years of age. Fifty titles. each. Send for free catalogue. Sold by all booksellers or sent postpaid for fifty cents HENRY ALTEMUS COMPANY, Philadelphia, Pa. At 1326-1836 Vine Street CRUIS To Wonderlands below the Equator bay’ be‘ “rolling down ” and melt the winter into June AMERICAN EXPRESS 5th Annual Cruise Tour Sy % bas SOUTH AMERICA | Sixty-seven days of amazing and delightful travel, visiting Cuba, Panama, Peru, Chile, across the Andes, Argentine, Uruguay, Brazil, Trinidad, Barbados From NEW YORK, Feb. 2nd on splendid S. S. Esse- uibo (Pacific Line). ‘Memorable shore excursions with distinguished local receptions. Every detail in expert hands. A complete change and glorious winter holi- days assured. Write today for Booklet AmericanExpressTravelDept. 65 BROADWAY, NEW YORK Sure Relief 6 BELLANS Hot water BELL-ANS| FOR INDIGESTION 25¢ AND 75¢ PACKAGES EVERYWHERE U R_ OLISH CONTEMFOR ARIES How It Is Done “Suppose,” bit of new facing bankruptcy. How would you tell your wife about it?” Well, we should say, as we do the first of every month: am facing bankruptcy.” And she would in the customary patient tone of “I'm sure I haven't been spend- ing much money on the house.” —S. K., in Spokane Spokesman-Review. blurbist of a were que the fiction, “you about “Darling, I voice: Evidently a Klansman In a recent examination conducted by the civil service for a helper in the chemical department the following ques- tion was asked: “What are rabies and what would you do for them?” And this was the unexpected reply on one paper: “Rabies are Jewish priests and I wouldn't do a darn thing for them.”—Columbus Dispatch. The Altruist Mistress (to maid who has been to the dentist): How many did he take out, Mary? Mary: Three, 'm; and if you'd seen what’ trouble he had with one of them you'd have pitied him.—Punch. Motuer: Edward! are you doing to Willie? Epwarp: We're playing house-clean- ing, and Willie said he'd be the carpet if I'd do the work.—Pearson’s Weekly. Edward! What Revived One of the stories that the late James Payne liked to tell was about what he called an American duel, wherein two duelists, with one second, met within doors and drew lots to decide which should shoot himself. A. was the unlucky man, and without a word he retired into the next apart- ment to carry out the purpose of self- destruction. B. and the second, both very much moved by the tragedy of the situation, remained in listening attitudes. At last the pistol was heard, and they were shuddering with emotion and re- morse, when suddenly in rushed the sup. posed dead man, triumphantly ex m- ing: “Missed, by heaven !”—Argonaut | Ina Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE Social Conscience Our small daughter, aged five, Queen Mary in London. She reported to us later: “She bowed right at and I forgot to bow or make my curtsy Oh, Daddy, what will she think of me! What will she think of me!” —New York Tribui The Comedy Four “What is it that has eight legs and sings three times a day?” is the latest conundrum heard along Broadway The answer: “A quartet playing sn time vaudeville.” —New York Evening Mail Smit: Yes, I’m engaged to be mar- ried, and I’ve only known the girl two days. Jone Saute: What folly! Ziegfeld’s. —American Legion Week! v sear orf Time to Re-tire? FISK comicbooks.com