Life — December 6, 1923 — page 53: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

An Evening at the Theatre C RTAIN rises. Attractive Pata- nian peasant village. Chorus in native costume. Prima donna wheeled in on ox-cart. Cheering chorus men. Faint applause. Fluttering of pro- grams. Eye caught by attractive line, “Notice: This theatre, with every seat occupied, can be emptied in less than three minutes.” Fleeting spasm of asy of public renown enjoyed by re Commissioner. Back to stage. Ox-cart has disappeared. Pretty brunette third from left. Program again. Can’t find her name. ‘Between the Acts—Little Cigars” ad- vertised below cast. Determination to try them, Glance at stage. Brunette has left. Senile comedian clogging. Comedian dressed to the minute. Flash of inspiration. Turns pages. “What the Man Will Wear.” “The correct collar to pair off with formal afternoon dre "Discovery that comedian has errci in collar. Ten-minute discussion as t» whether he is one who “fairly tingles to transgress the accepted rules of correct dress because the breach is mor inviting than the observance,” or whether he didn’t know any better. Curtain. Lobby and cigarettes. Rot- ten show. Pretty brunette, though. Walk to corner. Newspaper. Five min- utes late. There's the brunette. Smiled when I walked down the aisle. No, she laughed. Vigorous discussion. Get her cye ant prove it. Look up. She’s left the stage. Wonder who the deuce she is. Program. Ten-minute discus- sion of relative merits of various per- fun There she is again. No, Just ran across the stage hand-in-hand with che man. Pretty scene, what? Watering resort on Swiss coast. Kelly tires—Lotta Miles. Friend likes Fel- lowes’ ads best. Ten-minute discussion. Star sings song-hit of show. Back to ram. My Golly—Corn Exchange Bank has $20,000,000 capital and sur- plus. Here’s clever ad. Reads like biographical sketch. “Marion Davies says of Mineralava: ‘It is the perfect way to a perfect complexion.’” Program jokes. Ha! Here’s one from my old college paper. Ten minutes of reminiscing. Curtain. Faint applause. Crush to get out. Damn it! I left my Program. Wanted to see who that brunette was. W. K. Ziegfeld, Jr. LIP E * Eleusinian Elegy Satyrs: Cause nobody a pang; Als for all our glory! They're not accounted risky. Alackaday for fame! Satyrs: For many an ancient story They're not accounted risky, We now must blush for shame! For moderns, on a spree, Nymphs: On cocktails, wine and whisky We now must blush for shame; They're tipsier than we! The modern Miss who rollicks, Nymphs: She calls them rather tame, They're tipsier than we; Our Bacchanalian frolics. And then, to add the snapper, Satyrs: Our revels lack in glee, Our Bacchanalian frolics. To Twentieth Century flapper ! The Grecian poets sang Satyrs: In liveliest bucolics— To Twentieth Century flapper Now, no one gives a hang! Our love affairs are borey; Nymphs: Our vice is prim and dapper; Now, no one gives a hang! Alas, for all our glory! The tales that once were frisky Gelett Burgess. “COME DOWN (hic) AN’ OPE’ TH’ DOOR.” “7's UNLOCKED! PULL OUT ON IT.” “CAN'T. I’M LEANIN’ ’GAINST IT.” comicbooks.com