Life — November 1, 1923 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE Aspirin Say “Bayer” and Insist! nless you see the name “Bayer” kage or on tablets you are not get- the genuine Bayer product pre- xed by physicians over twenty-two rs and proved safe by millions for Colds Headache Toothache Lumbago Earache Rheumatism Neuralgia Pain, Pain pt “Bayer Tablets of Each unbroken pac! directions. Handy box cost few cents. tles of 24 and 100. Aspirin is the trade rk of Bayer Manufacture of Mono- ticacidester of Salicylicacid. Aspirin” ge contains of twelve je Musical Instruments Not toys—but high-grade practical instruments for Symphony or Jazz orchestras. Greatfor solo work at Club, Lodge or Legion gatherings or home entertain- ments. Anyone can play with a few simple lessons, furnished with each instrument. | Musical piech Fork iassaphone Jazz-0-1 fmusicatSaw Worner'sax. | Free Trial 1 frrsezet fr cil na eal oar guyana seed maces beatin, Gara ee ent catiee ems areal Jostruments for 15 (Patented) MAKES TROUSERS HANG STRAIGHT If Legs Bend In or Out “Fe “Harness No shia Spciee ree Circular Plain ‘ealed envelope It Is Not I Ir is not I they love, Although they think they love me, It is that picture of themselves they see As though a mirror hung above me. I can reflect them with a grace That lets them talk and makes them shine, And if they tell their troubles to me, I do not bother them with mine. It is not I they love, there is no I Except for you, who have me for your own, And for the rest my heart may hide or seem A thing as light as snow, as hard as stone. S. T. Getting Through the Gates Professor Blotter Regulates Stiles in the Subway Tue newspapers have been carrying a good deal lately about the har- rowing experience of Professor Blotter of Columbia University on his recent return from the Middle West, where he conducted an organized search during the summer for v with pockets big enough for vest-pocket koda It seems the venerable scientist at- tempted to carry two through a turnstile gate in the subway, and the effort so confused him that he wandered around and around in the gate for hours; and he stated that it cost him thirty-five cents to get out. It goes without saying that the Professor has devoted much time since then to discovering a safe way to carry two suitcases through a turnstile gate. When I called upon him yestetday, he was on the verge of a solution. “My first plan,” he declared, “was to unpack the suitcases, and carry my luggage through the gate piece by piece. But it is obvious that this method would prove extremely expensive. In addition, I should be forced to abandon the two suitcases on the inside of the gate; and as a result not only should [ have to buy two new suitcases every time I came out of the subway, but the abandoned cases would clutter up the stations eventually until the companies would be forced to dig new stations, at great cost and inconvenience. “I decided, consequently, to attack the problem from the standpoint of the turnstile gates. My suggestion that they build the gates somewhere else in the station rather than directly in the doorway where so many people have to pass did not seem to meet with much approval, for several reasons. “Therefore,” he concluded, “I suggest that they should build two turnstile gates—one to walk through yourself, and the other to carry your su’‘tcases through. I think that solves everything nicely.” COHR, dress-suitcases iY teeth and ‘gums? UITE RIGHTLY, American women pay close attention to the nutritive values of the food they serve. “Delicious,” says father, “melts in the mouth.” And mother is pleased beyond words. But often this modern food of ours is working a subtle harm. Softand creamy, it does not give to the gums the stimula- tion that rough, coarse food once gave. Gums today are less healthy, and tooth- troubles, due to weakened gums, are on the rise. The prevalence of pyorrhea is one item in a long list. Does your toothbrush “show pink”? Thousands of dentists have written us that they combat soft and spongy gums by the use of Ipana Tooth Paste. For Ipana Tooth Paste is the great enemy of the “pink toothbrush.” Because of its ziratol content, it has a decided tendency to heal tender gums and to keep gums firm and healthy. In stubborn cases a gum-massage with Ipana is recommended, after the cleaning with Ipana and the brush. Send for a Trial Tube Today Ipana stimulates and heals the gums, but do not overlook the fact that it cleans the teeth perfectly. And its taste, as a trial tube will show you, is unforgetably good. IPANA TOOTH PASTE —made by the makers of Sal Hepatica In generous tubes, Bristol- at all drug and Myers department Co. a stores—50c. 73 RectorSt, fi New York, N.Y. '"f, ‘ Kindly send me a trial tube of . IPANA TOOTH PASTE without charge or obligation on comicbooks.com