Life — July 19, 1923 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

yoy HAVE TE {in your home — put them on your car. Edison Mazpa Auto Lamps are dependable. “pip YOU GO TO WAR IN 1914?” “a” “WHY DID YOU BURN HOUSES, CATHEDRALS AND FACTORIE “BECAUSE WE COULDN’” THEM AWAY. —L'Illustration (Paris). An Easy Way to Remove Dandruff If you want plenty of thick, beautiful, glossy, silky hair, do by all means get rid of dandruff, for it will starve your hair and ruin it if you don’t. The best way to get rid of dandruff is to dissolve it. To do this, just apply a little Liquid Arvon at night before retiring; use enough to moisten the scalp, and rub it in gently with the finger tips. By morning, most, if not all, of your dandruff will be gone, and three or four more applications should completely re- move every sign and trace of it. You will find, too, that all itching of the scalp will stop, and your hair will look and feel a hundred times better. You can get Liquid Arvon at any drug store. A four- ounce bottle is usually all that is needed. The R. L. Watkins Co., Cleveland, Ohio. OUR. FOOLISH CONn?k PORARIES Gl Overexertion Down at San Antonio this spring, where the Giants were training for the opening of the big leagues, the final running about the field on the part of the pitchers meant the strengthening of their legs and wind. And it was taken mighty seriously. But to Zachary Abraham Lincoln Johnson it was simply a never-ending cause for wonderment. “Whuffo dem young gem’mans- run- nin’?” old Zach used to ruminate nightly, scratching his cottony thatch. “Dey ain’ fixin’ to get nowheres. How come all de hurry —New York Evening Post. An Abandoned Bird Deacer: Did I understand you to say that the parrot I sold you uses improper language? Curturep Customer: Perfectly aw- ful. Why, yesterday I heard him split an infinitive—Boston Transcript. Tue Lancet recently reported a case of a man who could not tell when he was singing and when talking. He should make a hit in musical comedy. —Punch (London). The Tapeline of Courage The days of the draft are long past and gone, but once in a while up bobs a story concerning them that justifies its existence. One mother, writing to the judge advocate’s office, explained that her son was a designer of women’s cloaks and suits and, as such, indispens- able to civilian life, and then concluded her plea for his exemption with these words: “Furthermore, I cannot see how he could be of any real value at the front. He weighs only 105 pounds, he is five feet seven inches tall, his bust measurement is only thirty-two, and he positively shudders at the thought of war.”—American Legion Wee An Offer of Marriage Harp-up Younc Man: Sir, I have come to tell you that I have long loved your daughter, and want to make her my wife. Nouveau Ricue: But, hang it, | haven't got a daughter! Harp-up Young Man: Good Hea- vens! They told me you had! —London Opinion. Off the Beaten Track Says science: “An airplane traveling at the rate of 200 miles per hour, fly- ing night and day, would reach the sun in 52 years.” If you haven't al- ready planned your vacation trip, here's one worth considering. —Buffalo Express. The Speed Demons “Why is a motorcyclist?” “Search me—their one pursuit in life seems to be a mad effort to get from here to there and back again as fast as possible and with as much ncise.” —Florida Times-Union. Time to Re-tire? FISK comicbooks.com