Life, 1923-05-03 · page 16 of 40
Life — May 3, 1923 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical sections typical of Life's humor content: **"Fables for Farmers"** criticizes excessive military spending. Eliakum Tupper, a farmer, complains that Americans pay seven dollars yearly per capita for military preparedness against hypothetical wars, while other nations spend less. The satire targets wasteful defense budgeting during peacetime. **"The Speeder's Glossary"** mocks traffic enforcement jargon with absurdist definitions (e.g., "No Parking" means you can only break the law in one direction). **"Tales of a Traveler"** and the accompanying illustration appear to feature vernacular humor about rural or working-class life, though the specific reference is unclear from visible text. The cartoons use working-class characters to satirize government policies and social conventions of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Fables for Farmers Se AS down to the Grange Hall last night,” obtruded Eliakim Tupper, the diversified farmer from middle Stewiacke, “to hear that city feller from the Dove of Peace Anglo-Celtic-Saxon’ Arbitration Society tell how much it costs us farmers keepin’ the country ready for wars that mayn’t never happen. It’s some- thing terrible, all the taxes we got to pay for them battleships, and coast defences, and the standin’ army, He had it all figgered out, so’s to show that everybody in this United States pays more’n seven dollars every year just to be prepared in case a war breaks out, Thinks it’s about time we done something that'll cut down expenses, and if we'd just tell them other countries how we feel about it, he guesses they’d be willin’ to meet us half way.” ‘ “That grandson of mine,” interrupted Squire Bur- dock, “‘is all the time botherin’ me with foolish questions, Was tellin’ him one of them Br’er Rabbit stories t’other night, and he up and asks: ‘Grampa, why don’t they teach the foxes not to eat the poor little rabbits?” Mebbe “I told ye not to chew gum while ye was in course of time we'll be able to learn foxes to eat blowin’ it.” The Speeder’s Glossary 'AY-WALKER—A person on foot; a fool; any pedestrian. One-way Street—A_ street in which you can break the law going in only one direction. Stop—(Collog.) Slow down, if absolutely necessary. Go—Twenty-five miles an hour and up; beat it. School Street, Drive Slowly— Look out for the cop. No Parking—A neutral zone or space in which you are not permitted to stop, unless the person injured happens to be an old friend. Dangerous Curve—A_ sign-paint- er’s joke. Step on it. Tales of a Traveler “We slept under blankets every night.” “The people in our party were just like one big family.” “Only the nicest people; the man- agement is very particular.” “Every morning I’d go out and catch enough fish for breakfast.” “The old bus took every one of those hills on high.” “Anything you wanted to drink if you had the price.” Tue clothes of a 3500-year-old mummy govern the fashions. We trust that archeologists do not find the tomb of Adam and Eve. vegetables, but so long as they eat hens I allow us farm- ers had better keep a gun.” Whidden Graham. “Howdy, sistah! I saw yo’ husban’ down de road a ways an’ he was all tore up! What happened to him?” “I happened to him! Dat’s what! He ain’t done a stroke of work fo’ six months an’ he come into de house a-singing a chune an wif a flower in his button hole an’ wanted to know why de debbil his dinnah wasn't ready! De worm will turn, sistah! De worm will turn.” comicbooks.com