Life — April 5, 1923 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GIF Ee March It is now five days since 30th I did go upon my diet, and I gravely doubt if I can keep to it as long as I intended, for Lord! those about me seem to talk of naught but food, and every book I pick up goes into culinary de- tails and every play I see has a stage meal in it. Nor does it help me to hear that Marge Boothby, who went on the regimen at the same time, did decide last evening that life was too short for the protraction of such agony and sat herself down imme- diately to a large repast of forbid- den viands which she enjoyed beyond measure. But I pray that I may hold out until I have lost ten more pounds. . . -To a large luncheon of my sex, where the abundance of fine food did cause me to compare my state with that of Tantalus, and thence to my milliner’s to try on my new hat, and overjoyed with its fidelity to the original model, a rare thing. But when I asked to be shown suit- able veilings, the saleswoman did earnestly advise me against them, saying they were not vogue. So I heeded her counsel, not wishing to disturb her evident conviction that none but a fool would go against the dictates of fashion. . . .To dinner and the play, wearing my costliest earrings with some misgivings. But when we reached the darkened dance club afterwards, I did exchange them for another pair which Sam had brought in his pocket and for which I had laid out only seventy- five cents. March Lay late, pondering on 31s¢ this and that, and dis- tressed because there are so many matters on which I have in- different convictions, if any at all. But there is much to be said on both sides of all questions, and of late people seem to go out of their way to say it. until a poor wretch like myself cannot see the forest for the trees. I am sure of one thing, how- ever: This world is more densely populated with those who are try- ing to be their brothers’ keepers than with those who are succeeding in loving their neighbor as themselves. . . . Walking out through the town, and strongly minded to go to an inn and eat my fill of Hollandaise sauce and crisp potatoes, but thinking better of it stopped at Hicks’ for my noon- day glass of milk and vichy, and felt after I had downed it as if I had won a great battle. Nor did I stop at Marge’s for tea, neither, knowing full well that she would be having huge plates of buttered Swedish biscuit and would consume them with relish in my presence. So home, and Bruce Webb, the young man. who manipulates my bonds, come to see me with great talk of an advan- tageous shift, but aught I know of the business is that I give him pink and blue pieces of paper in exchange for green and yellow, nor do I give much heed to what’ is written there- on, forasmuch as the places men- tioned in most cases seem too distant to be safe. But Bruce assures me that he is astute, and I do indeed trust him, albeit I would rather he had not purchased me a thousand dollars’ worth of Soissons, for I did behold that town after the war, and it looked pretty ruined to me. Baird Leonard. Spring (By an Official News Agency— Special to Lire.) Awnnapouis. March 17.— A news dispatch says spring’s been seen. Bertin. A Reuter telegram Says spring’s arrived in Rotterdam. Pierre, N. D. J. Perkins Whank, Vice-President of the Drovers’ Bank, Stated when interviewed to-day, “Beyond all doubt spring’s on the way.” The birds, it is reported, sing. It is, a rumor has it, spring. Mrs. De Silke: Tell me, my dear, how do you manage to keep your servants such a long time? Mrs. Van Stuyl: Well, you see, my husband has had years of ex- perience handling prima-donnas. comicbooks.com