Life — April 5, 1923 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE My Husband Says HAT he likes an open car, because he loves to feel the wind slapping him in the face. He says it’s the only thing that can hit him in the face and get away with it; and he’d like to “turn the other #, cheek also”; and it’s one of the few times when he cares to obey the Scriptures. I like them, too, except when I go to tea, or any- thing like that. Mrs. Humphree Jones says a closed car keeps one so intact. She says she hates teas and concerts, and would never go, if she hadn’t a limousine with pearl-gray upholstery and fittings. She said if her husband drove his own car, she would put him in livery to match. My husband drives, so I thought I'd like to change the subject ; so I asked her if she had read “Women in Love.” She said she really couldn’t remember, because she read her Shakespeare so promiscuously that she con- founded him with everything else. I thought maybe she’d like to talk about plays; so I asked her if she had been to town to see “The Dawn of Twilight.” I thought the leading lady wore such heavenly clothes, and it was all so charming. She said, “Mercy, no! I saw it in New York last win- ter, and they never send the original cast here. I should be bored to death.” But my husband says the Joneses haven’t been to New York since “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” was first played there. I couldn’t think of anything else to say, and I was 2 fully glad when Mrs, Wilkinson Smythe came over, and asked me if I enjoyed my trip to Europe. I said [ had had a perfectly wonderful time. She said that when her husband frequently men- tions a trip to Europe she always says, “‘No. I think it is the duty of every one to see his own country firs?.” She asked me if I had been to California, and I hadnt. She just said “Oh,” in a very cold tone. I felt awfully, and I was so sorry I hadn’t kept my new squirrel coat on, for even if it was fiendishly warm, I could have thrown it open, and it has a stunning lining, in heavenly shades of old blue and silver. Mrs. Smythe has worn her fur coat for two seasons. But she has a lovely lorgnette, on a real platinum chain I think lorgnettes help ladies to think of mean things to say. I'd love to have one. But my husband says he doesn’t wish me to. He says he is taking no chances. L. Blanche Simpson. “There it is again! Oh, Edward, I’m sure there’s something psychic about your playing!” comicbooks.com