Life — March 29, 1923 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Time to Re-tire?® Buy Dad = When lald away. pat K $l eg ceipt of pric tithe emplete with yg ; ¢ df your dealer KIRBY Manura 753, Hubt CTURIN Middtetown’ St. 2 co. MADISON AVE., 43rd TO 44th STREETS NEW YORK Tea in the Palm Room Dancing in the Supper Room LIFE O OLISH Small Wonder Keith Preston of the Chicago News retails this story, related by William McFee to illustrate the endless rivalry that exists between the bridge and the engine room on Atlantic vessels : A certain captain and his chief engi- neer, tired of endlessly debating which . the ship could the more easily dispense with, decided to swap places for a day. The chief ascended to the bridge and the skipper dived into the engine room. After a couple of hours at most the captain suddenly appeared on deck cov- ered with oil and soot, bruised as to one eye and generally the worse for wear. “Chief!” he called, wildly beckoning with a monkey wrench. “You'll have to come down here at once. I can’t seem to make her go.” “Of course you can't,” said the chief, calmly removing his pipe from his mouth, “She’s ashore.” —Kansas City Star. The Completed Village Stopping in a small town a travelling man said to a prospective customer : “It has been twenty years since I was here last. Many buildings gone up since then?” “No,” replied the resident, “none that I know of. “Any new railroads or street cars?” “No.” “Planning any improvements?” “No.” “Well,” said the travelling man, “I’ been all over this country, and_ this is the first town I have seen that is what you might call actually finished.” —Youngstown Telegram. Autonomy Son: What are revenues, Papa? Papa: Those are the taxes that Uncle Sam collects. Son; What does Uncle Sam do with them, a Para: He spends them to run the government, Sonny Silence, then, “Daddy!” Papa: Yes, Sonny? “Let’s start a government.” —Denver Parrakeet. Adventure Susan, a New York child who had never lived outside a flat, visited her grandmother in the country. Asked on her return what she liked best, she replied: “Going up-stairs to bed.” —New York Sun. Light-Fingered Ancestors “You should see Priscilla’s collection of old snuff-boxes handed down from her great-grandmother.” “Then the old lady took snuff?” “No, only snuff-boxes. She was a kleptomaniac.”—Boston Transcript. Chivalry Chivalry has been described by a cyn- ic as the noble quality in a man that makes him considerate of any woman who is beautiful and isn’t married to him.—Tit-Bits (London). At Smart lends Elegance to the Table— World Famed for its Distinctive Excellence Apollinaris Sole Importers: Apollinatis Agency Co., Fifth Avenue at 42nd Street, New York A Howler In reply to the query, “Who brought gifts to the Infant Jesus?” which ap- peared on the Scripture examination paper of a Skegn school, one pupil appended: “Mr. nkincense and Mr, Myrrh.”—Christian Life. Classified Advertising “Pretty divorcée wishes to be mar- ried. Excellent recommendations from former husbands.” —Sans-Géne (Paris). Sail and Moto BOATS Sturdy Craft at Moderate Prices Inquire About Our Boardman-Hoyt Design Five-meter Racing Knockabout Our Coupe Automobile Boat with Electric Self-starter Cape Cod Shipbuilding Corp. 18 Tremont St., Boston, Mass. Exhibiting at -. Fishermen's Equipment, Exhibition Boston, March 26th. EE An Easy Way to / Remove Dandruff If you want plenty of thick, beautiful, glossy, silky hair, do by all means get ri of dandruff, for it will starve your hair and ruin it if you don't. ? The best way to get rid of dandruff is to dissolve it. To do this, just apply a little Liquid Arvon at night before retiring; use enough to moisten the scalp, and rub it m gently with the finger tips. By morning, most, if not all, of your dandruff will be gone, and three or four more applications should completely re- move every sign and trace of it. You will find, too, that all itching of the scalp will stop, and your hair will look an feel a hundred times better. You can get Liquid Arvon at any drug store. A fouf- ounce bottle is usually all that is needed. The R. L, Watkins Co., Cleveland, Ohle. comicbooks.com tc « « 2