Life — March 8, 1923 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WR The Wealth of Creases Professor Blotter on a New Wrinkle in Women’s Newspapers ROFESSOR Blotter, of Colum- bia University, and I were try- ing to work out some plan the other day to make women fold back bor- rowed newspapers along the origi- nal creases, instead of handing them back to you looking like a bundle for the Salvation Army. eae Neither the Professor nor I am married, as it happens, but the Pro- fessor has had worldly knowledge. “You take a woman in the subway,” he said (and I’ll admit I have), “and she can do more harm to a nice, com- pact, conservative paper like the Times between two local stops, than you or I could do fooling around all day in our carpet slippers with a Sunday edition.” eee “My plan, Corey,” the Professor went on, “is to make a special Ladies’ Newspaper out of cloth or something, and sell it tied up in bow- knots, because if there’s anything a woman can do it is to untie bow- knots and tie them again. You might 7 even go so far as to hemstitch the“ Rotogravure Sections and do wor- sted rabbits on the Colored Supple- ments, so that she could rip them out and do them over.” ke I let the Professor go on with his idea, but I confess I saw faults in it right from the start. “How,” I asked (and the Professor was at a loss for a reply), “how are you going to make a lady buy a Ladies’ Newspaper, so long as there are Men’s Newspapers around that she can buy instead? Any more,” I argued, “than you will ever find a woman reading the Woman’s Section of a Sunday paper; in fact that is usually the only section that is not already di- vided among the wife and daughters by the time you come upstairs after fixing the furnace.” eae “The only way I can see it, sir,” I said, “is to take it for granted that a woman will fold her newspaper back along the wrong creases, and then fold your original newspaper along every crease but the right one. There is no reason,” and I showed him a diagram with dotted lines to Prove it, “there is no reason why a f \ ' C- Mothers Know Everything “T see the children all smoke nowadays.” “Well, Mother, I think I ought to tell you, now that I've had my fiftieth birthday, that I myself have smoked ever since I was eighteen.” “Yes, my dear, I've known it since you were twenty. good complicated Sunday edition could not contain enough creases to cover every possible error. Then when your wife started to arrange the news section to hand it back to you, by elimination she’d have to pick on the right crease because it would be the only one not creased already.” And the Professor assured me that the opportunity to be con- trary is one no woman would over- look. eae It’s a kind of prank, the Profes- sor and I both admit, but we are anxious to see if it works out. We may even get married sometime and try it. C. A. F. Old Nassau (Version @ la Hutchinson) A aaletedlr tag wonderful winter ! Beautiful, beautiful snow, Which makes the slowest a sprinter To where bitters add pep to the sloe. Lovely, ah, lovely Bahamas! Oh, swizzlely sweet for the health Of dried up Papas and Mamas And flappers who lap up by stealth! Alas, that spring and the summer Up north should chill and not thaw: Winter, sings Rumor, is rummer In the freedom of this Old Nassau. R. B. G. comicbooks.com