Life — February 15, 1923 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The street-car was very crowded and the old colored man just managed to get one foot on the lower step and his hands on the hand-rail. When the conductor called out briskly, “Fares, please,” he retorted in amazement, “Mah Lawd, man, yo’ ain't collectin’ off’n de sidewalk, is yo’?” —Washington Star. The Big Scene MacistraTe: Come, we will recon- struct the action and the scene of the crime. CriminaL (proudly): Oh certainly, your honor .. . is this for the movies? —Le Journal Amusant (Paris). Careers The honors that a husband wins exalt his wife’s position in society; the honors that a wife gains belittle her husband in the eyes of the world. —Charleston News and Courier. “Wat is the death -rate in your town?” “About two per automobile.” —Boston Transcript. VINDICTIVE “My former fiancée must bear a ter- ribie grudge! Every time she passes me with her dog she holds his tail'so he can’t wag it at me.” —Fliegende Blitter (Munich). Nocturne It was the sweetest little lady stick-up; So saintly good was she a The cops all wondered where the kid could pick up Such perfect piety. She cast her eyes up in a kind of glo Most mystical and meek: - i “Oh, Gawd!” she prayed (it made a front page story), “Don’t let ’em catch my sheik!” The cops all started in to sniff and hiccup, The sob sisters to sob, “Ums is the loveliest little lady stick-up That ever pulled a job.” The captain banged his fist upon the table (The sob sisters all flinched) ; “Girlie,” he choked, as well as he was able, “Your boy friend shan’t be pinched!” —Keith Preston, in Chicago News, Quivers and Quakes YoutH: Paw, what's a breakdown? Mr. Cuucerns: The stalling of your motor on the return from a trip to Canada—American Legion Weekly, nervous Ir used to be the cowcatcher; it’s the carcatcher now.—Dallas News. Lire_is published every Thur: ‘imultaneously in the United States, The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s Lo: Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U.S. Breams Buildings, London, E. C. Canadian distributor, T! Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign News Company, Ltd., 386-388 St. James Street, ‘a countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by st numbers cannot be supplied. addressed envelope. Lire docs not hold itself responsible for non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two to the date of issue to be affected. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. And Wouldn’t it be Happier For you to Smile than Pout, And So make Sunshine in the House, When there is none without? Read and you will have sunshine, quite regardless of the weather. The old rhyme is just as true now as in childhood days—a smile on the faces of the family does mean sunshine in the house, and that smile is sure if they read Lire, with Its Laugh on Every Page. Try it for a year, or else try our Special Offer Enclosed find One Dollar (Canadian $1.20, Foreign $1.40). Send Lire for the next ten weeks to “You should have attended Edna’s birthday party; she had the most gorgeous cake!” “Oh! I imagine it must have been a brilliant affair with so much candle-light.” Open only to new subscribers; no subscriptions renewed at this rate. LIFE, 598 Madison Avenue, New York One year $5 Canadian $5.80 Foreign $6.69 Wes St comicbooks.com