Life — February 8, 1923 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Plain Clothes Men Dubbs, late sergeant, A. E. F., had gone to a South American country where a revolution was on, searching for excitement. The president, who had just risen to power, promptly appointed him quartermaster-general, and then produced sketches made by himself as designs for uniforms for his forces: “I get most of this, President,” re- marked Dubbs, after studying them for a while. “This here seems to be for the Army and this for the Navy. But what's this thing with the green plume on a three-cornered hat, yellow, swal- low stailes coat trimmed with purple, and—” “Ah, zat!” exclaimed the president triumphantly. “Zat is my masterpiece. Zat is for ze Secret Service.” —American Legion Weekly. Foolish Question “I want to get some money for these love letters,” said the fair visitor. “They're the scorching kind, too.” “In a breach of promise suit?” the young lawyer. “Certainly. Did you think I mistook you for a publisher?” —Birmingham asked Age-Herald. Diplomacy Detia: Ye can get a hat just like your missis’ velvet wan for sivin dol- lars at Brown's Bargain Store. Norau: Yes, an’ I can get wan for nothin’ by tellin’ me missis about the wan in Brown’s Bargain Store. —Boston Transcript. Different Indeed The principal part in “Treasure Is- land” is a one-legged character. How very different from our revues! —London Opinion. =| Lacing Hooks on his shoes would have saved the miniutes and ‘‘made the train’. ith ph Lacies Hooks be bought Shove roan up t-date declare, Insist on aa Ta what you want. JOU HAVE THEM in your home—put them on your car. Edison MAzva Aut A ~ GENERAL ELECTRIC PRODUCT The Letter Killeth It was a famous mission for down- and-outs in the days of legal alcohol ad lib. The evening round-up made a roomful. It was a special occasion for a distinguished visitor. The head of the mission told his uncertain charges that for once he must ask that no man should sing if he did not know the .words—it was sometimes done disastrously. As the first hymn began, one fellow started for the door in dis- gust, with a parting shot: “I call this the confoundest red tape I ever heard of."—Christian Register. It’s the Upkeep “How’s the new car go, Bill?” . “Like it fine, but it costs a lot to keep it ”? “So? And how are your wife and daughter ?” “Just the same, thank you.” —Stanford Chaparral. Ouch!... Attempts are being made by super- dentists to isolate the toothache microbe. It is supposed that they want to teach it some new tricks. —Windsor Magazine (London). “Yes, he knows her past; she told him_ everything.” “What courage!” “What memory!” —Sans-Géne (Paris). THE evolution of a new diary— double entry, single entry, blank. —Vancouver Province. Sail and Moto BOATS Sturdy Craft at Moderate Prices Inquire About Our Boardman-Hoyt Design Five-meter Racing Knocki and Our Coupe Automobile Boat with Electric Self-starter Cape Cod Shipbuilding Corp, Wareham, Massachusetts APal for Your aia. Let will just fons or strings, Sold at cigar drug and leather foods stores. tive, genuine suede Ieather. Rubber Lined puede and Fully Guaranteed by inc. Gloversville, NY. comicbooks.com