Life, 1923-02-08 · page 29 of 36
Life — February 8, 1923 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous article mocks the early 20th-century "efficiency expert" craze—business consultants who applied rigid, mathematical approaches to life. The protagonist Eggleston represents this absurd type: he demands his wife possess "a strong governing instinct" as though selecting a machine part, dismisses genealogy as impractical, yet obsessively studies family trees seeking the "perfect" breeding stock. The joke's punchline: after rejecting genealogy as illogical, Eggleston discovers his wife's "Lush family" bloodline produces triplets—proving heredity matters after all. His efficiency calculations collapse when confronted with biological reality. The satire targets how early-1900s pseudo-scientific management philosophy, borrowed from business, was absurdly applied to human relationships and inheritance. The author (G.R.) ridicules Eggleston's contradictions and the era's obsession with quantifying and optimizing everything, including marriage and children as "investments with returns."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Efficiency GGLESTON is an efficiency ex- E pert; and when I first met him, though in his thirtieth year, he was married. Nevertheless, Eg- as a great believer in the advantages of marriage— children: a fifty per cent. on the investment,” as he put he perfect partner, accord- gleston’s specifications, had me along. One day I tried | out what his specifications not ye gleston teston,” I said, “what, to your stitutes the perfect wife?” vu,” replied Eggleston, “any strong governing instinct. lf, I demand a qualification s exceedingly rare—and uld rather not discuss.” at was that. I could get no vith him. And the matter ill more inexplicable when, a mont; or so later, Eggleston launc!; d an introductory and follow- gn in re one of the remark- remarkable Lush sisters. It 1 me. leston,” I said, “you’ve got jing up your sleeve. What is \ cood right arm,” ‘on boorishly. | then and there, had it not been ian persistence, I would orsaken him. - But later when cred him poring over the mily tree for the third con- secutive evening, I decided on just one more effort. retorted Eg- | Time to Re-tire? Buy ISK “Eggleston,” I said... . ‘ As I rearranged my collar and limped away, I felt hurt. To think that a man who pretended to be an efficiency expert should place such absurd weight upon genealogy! Of what practical significance to a Bab- sonized life, is a family tree? Two years later, Eggleston’s wife —one of the Lush sisters—introduced him to paternity. Triplets. It seems they run in the Lush family. GR. The Scenario Writer To His Love EARIE, with single reels I’m through. I'm after far, far greater glory; I think the thing for us to do Is shoot a two-reel, super-story. Director Cupid we shall get, He is the finest one that « There'll be heart interest, y If I can be your valentino! A. C. M. A. comicbooks.com