Life — February 8, 1923 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE ideal friendship has been discovered. In a small town in Wisconsin live two girl friends; at Christmas every year each gives the Building of the new National Thea- tre has halted because the specula- tors will not contract for more than half the seating capacity. other twenty dollars in cash. aL To continue, what this country needs more than anything else is a couple of second-best minds that are not afraid to step on the gas. aL Dead men tell no tales, they say. But sometimes their mem- oirs live after them. aL The Swiss government prob- ably will not protest so long as President Harding does not recall the American tourists at St. Moritz. LL After all, M. Coué is just an “every day” man. aL Congress is being urged to make the White House fire- proof. This, however, does not mean that anything is about to happen there that might set the place on fire, -L From a Brooklyn schoolboy's essay on Washington: “The President of to-day is the two- cent stamp of the future.” aL Every British lecturer comes over with a message. And the message is “Collect!” aL ~ Pare New! Old Bill Nickel “Sence Walt Griffin got his false teeth, nobody kin believe a word he sez.” Life in Bulgaria has been simplified by cutting three letters out of tle alphabet. Perhaps after all this is the way to handle the problem of the K. K. K. — LL Speaking of the recall of pu'- lic officials, who can recall the Vice President of the Wilson administration ? —L Germany, the Oliver Twist of nations, hands its plate for some moratorium, aL We are getting weary of joke on Prohibition but we suppose they will continue as long as Prohibition is a joke. Trans-continental trains fur- nish movie shows to their passengers. Why can’t the subway install phonographs to play “The Star-Spangled Ban- ner” for the standees? -L A drop of rainwater, says a contemporary, cannot fall faster than twenty-six feet a second. This may help to ex- plain why the milkman is so often late. Ambassador Harvey, on his trip back to Europe, will have had some leisure for medita tion as to whether America has a soul, or only a skin, to save. LL Germany may not be getting ready to fight but it is worth noting that Grover Cleveland Bergdoll has lately transferred his residence to Switzerland. LL An actress says she can’t live on $50,000 a year. A lot of people who would like to can’t either. Henry Ford saw David Warfield in “The Merchant of Venice’—and next day he wrote the author, care of David Belasco, offering him a job on the Dearborn Independent. LL It seems to be about time for the snow shovelers to start striking for eight-inch drifts. New York is considering a bill to prohibit the use of foreign lan- guages on the streets, which will rather handicap the vendors who shout “Wxzewzx!” instead of “Strawberries !” -L Why not take Ireland’s mind off her own troubles by giving her the man- date over Hollywood? LL Millions of voters are in favor of light wines and making Milwaukee famous again, L The favorite command of the French army: “To the Ruhr—march !” Speaking of the benefits of the higher education, how many college graduates can translate their di- plomas ? LL Dry Enforcement Note: The rich bootleggers are getting richer and the poor bootleggers are getting caught. LL For every member of the original Florodora sextet, it seems as if there are two ex-members of Wilson’s Cabinet. LL The outlook for the American tour- ist is bright. Another war will mean just so much more devastated terri- tory for him to enjoy. comicbooks.com