Life, 1923-01-25 · page 15 of 36
Life — January 25, 1923 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical cartoon mocks theatrical actress **Margaret Minerva** and critical reviews of the play "Soiled Linen." The joke centers on Minerva's repeated delivery of the line "If only I could feel clean, clean"—apparently the play's emotional climax. The cartoon depicts a street scene where well-dressed theatergoers gather near what appears to be a public fountain, referencing Minerva's obsessive line about cleanliness. The satire suggests that her overwrought, repetitive performance made the phrase unintentionally laughable to audiences. The accompanying criticism confirms this: reviewers found her rendition "woefully inadequate" and the drama itself "incompetent" and "incomplete." The cartoon ridicules both the actress's hammy acting and the play's poor quality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“What are your college colors?” “Orange and gin.” The Fountain Head Lobby of the Theatre Intime. Entr'acte during premiére of “Soiled Linen.” Critics of the “Mercury,” “Neptune,” “Venus” and “Saturn.” Columnist An acquaintance. CENE DS Time Dramatis Persone: “Mars,” of the “Mercury.” Cotumnist: Well, how do you like it? ! AINTANCE: Not bad at all, although the star might be better. Take that line, “If only I could feel clean, clean”—she says it as though she expected some one to rush on stage and hand her a cake of Ivory soap. Cuorus or Dramatic Critics: Quite so! Yes! Quite so! * * * vcerpts from criticisms of “Soiled Linen” in the New York dailies: Margaret Minerva was woefully inadequate. endition of the closing line in the second act—“If only I could feel clean, clean”—made it seem nothing more than a casual request for soap and water. Neptune—The star furnished the keynote for this piti- fully inadequate drama. “If only I could feel clean, clean.” she cried, and hardened first-nighters could scarcely refrain from shouting to her to be of good cheer; Saturday was only forty-eight hours off and she might hope for a tub. Mcrs—Incompetent. Inadequate. Incomplete. Im- possible. It is a tribute to the forbearance of the New York theatre-goer to record that no one presented Mar- garet Minerva with some bath salts after her amateurish declamation, “If only I could feel clean, clean.” Venus—‘“If only I could feel clean, clean,” sobbed Mar- garet Minerva. An admirable thought. A little soap is an excellent thing. In fact, the entire production could stand scouring. Saturn—Why did they insist on washing “Soiled Linen” in public? None can tell. Neither can anyone explain a star such as Margaret Minerva, who whispers, “If only I could feel clean, clean” as though she were contem- plating a visit to a Turkish bath. “The Colyum” in the New York Mercury—Somehow we feel that advertising men miss their greatest oppor- tunities. “If only I could feel clean, clean,” sobbed Mar- garet Minerva in “Soiled Linen,” and not a soul in the Theatre Intime rushed forward to present her with a box of soap on behalf—for instance—of Messrs. Proc- tor and Gamble. J. K. M. Bird Cages IFE and Song! They thrilled you, little bird. The sun was up. I watched you and I heard. Your notes were joyous, and you hymned the day I could not hail who silent am and gray. You've golden beauty and a soul that sings Of far-off marvels in its carollings ; But I am dumb, as you must be when age Reveals to you you're singing in a cage. E. \ comicbooks.com