Life, 1922-12-21 · page 6 of 42
Life — December 21, 1922 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features a serialized humor column titled "Mrs. Pep's Diary," a common Life magazine feature. The accompanying illustration shows a woman at a telephone desk, likely the "Mrs. Pep" character. The December 16th entry satirizes upper-class social anxieties about gift-giving and Christmas entertaining, mocking concerns over jewelry choices and household staff efficiency. The December 17th entry appears to reference contemporary debates about divorce law reform, presenting the author's ironic commentary on proposed legal changes. The "Are You Theah?" sketch on the right satirizes a telephone conversation, likely mocking affected upper-class speech patterns and the comedic frustrations of early telephone technology—a popular humor subject in this era. The overall tone is gentle social satire targeting genteel American society customs and pretensions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
December All the discourse now is of the coming Yule- toth tide, and Sam and I are in high glee because we are again bidden to the merry dinner given each year by Dr. Bishop, the great heart chirurgeon, and his wife Char- lotte. And I do remember how Louis asked me at the last one to suggest a title for the learned professional book he was writing, and I did reply, “Affaires de Coeur,” but he did not call it that. Everybody asking what I want for Christmas, and I astonish them by answering straight- way, “A platinum chain” or “A medieval mirror” or “Some old gold earrings,” but I doubt if I shall have the luck of Mr. Wilde, whose aged mother asked him such a ques- tion last year, and when he said, “A still,” Use dame secretly commissioned her daughter-in-law to purchase one; at a cost of three hundred dollars, too, and not knowing at all what she had bought. Nor has she dis- covered since. To a great din- ner in the evening, and sat next Mrs. Arnold Brunner, who did prom- ise to send me her new book, “The Personal Touch,” after I had de- claimed on the excellence of its title. December Reading in the publick 17th prints how enfranchised (Lord’s Day) women are planning to change the divorce laws, which I am glad of, for I have long held that the grounds on which marriage can be severed most easily are not so justifiable as some which aren’t mentioned at all. Take poor Marcia Bentley, whose spouse is faithful to her and supports her in luxury. Yet he will never go willingly where she wants to go, and he twits her ma- liciously in the presence of her friends. To the church, where the General Confession did start me ruminating on how hard it is these days to live a godly, righteous and sober life after reading modern au- thors. Came to me in the after- noon a stewardess with whom I once crossed, and I surprised and pleased. She did tell me of a fine bottle of champagne which she had brought me, but it had broken on the voyage. And although I believed her I had liefer she had not mentioned it. December Early up, and to the 18th shops to look for a hat, although my servant Emilie cautioned me against buying more headgear unless we are plan- ning to move to larger quarters. Found none, neither, inasmuch as no woman should buy a bonnet which does, not ;#mprove her appearance when it is set upon her head. To the station to meet our cozen ‘Mmy, who is to spend the holidays with us. Encountered my linen merchant, who tells me that the things I ordered will be ready in time, for which praise be to God. . . At bridge all the evening, and Amy did defend her every error with the statement that so they played in Wa- tertown, an unanswerable argument. My husband, poor wretch, secretly very wroth, and he did declare that’ he was through for life with bush league bridge. And Amy is his cousin, not mine. BE. “Are You Theah?” CENE: Any Hostelry of “dear ol’ Lunnon.” Characters: Visiting Literary Per- son (American), Telephone (al- leged) Instrument (British—very). 10:10 a. m.—Victim, having eaten hearty breakfast, blithely approaches instrument. 10:11 a. M—Rings. 10:12 a. mM—Rings violently. 10:13 a. m.—Still ringing. 10:14-10:15 a. M.—Ditto, ditto. 10:16 a. m.—Remembers just in time to say, “Are you there?” in- stead of the usual thing. Gives al- most perfect imitation of any melo- drama villain’s conquering air and triumphant, “At last!” 10:17 a. M—Requests a number. 10:18 a. M.—Cheerfully repeats request. 10:21 a. M—Decides to make it a demand. 10:23 a. MM—Remembers—just in time—that he is a gentleman. 10:24 a. M.—Recognizing the real magnitude of the task he has under- taken, he removes coat, collar and tie, and generally loosens clothing— feeling the instrument in itself is enough of an impediment to speech. Mentally cancels all engagements for the morning. 10:30 a. m.—Is rewarded with a number. 10:32 a. m—Patiently sets about the task of disabusing a patently sus- Picious mind of the conviction that the number he has is the number he wanted. 10:35 a. M.—Is convinced he has the solution of that age-old problem of what happens when the irresis- tible force meets the immovable body. 10:45 a.m.—Has five numbers, no one of them of the slightest use —to him. 10:50 a. M.—Has a passing flash of regret for the absence of “Jack the Ripper.” Feels that were that interesting individual on the contem- poraneous scene there would be need- ed but little intelligent direction to make of him a real public benefactor. 11:00 a. m. —Emphatically repeats original number. Makes mental note that he must develop the theory that had Wordsworth but lived at a slight- ly later date he must certainly have based his “Intimations of Immortal- ity” upon recollections of attempted telephonic conversations rather than comicbooks.com