Life — December 21, 1922 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Why did you shoot your husband?” asked thedudge:“Poisons is so uncertain,” said Cordelia.“NotGuilty,” said the dury. Read Ring Lardner’s amus- ing one act farce in JANUARY Osmopolitan ~ _at newsstands ‘The Christmas Dinner (Continued from page 24) Aunt Bertua: Yes, it’s nice to be together at Christmas while we're all still here. I remember just as well that Christmas dinner we had at poor Fijith’s. We little thought that before the next holidays came round, poor Annie wouldn’t be with us any more, although—it was the funniest thing—I always had a feeling that the poor child would never— Covsin CHarre: You don’t say so! Well, that's a funny thing. Aunt Carrie: Lucy! No ice cream, remember, until you eat up every bit of those potatoes. (Little Lucy flings herself more vigorously about in her chair, mut- tering incoherently.) Cousin Apa: No wonder the poor child's nervous, cooped up in this little apartment since this morning. My, how you New York people live in these stuffy little boxes I simply can’t understand! Aunt Bertna: Yes, a hard, hard Christmas this will be for poor Kitty. I know they say it’s only whooping-cough, ‘but Junior has always looked to me as if his lungs weren't any too strong. Well, we all have to go sometime. Cousin CHARLIE: Tight, that is. Mr. WrencH: Come on, now, Aunt Hertha, here's a little— Mrs. Wrencw: Yes, please do, Aunt Bertha. (The revelries continue at this pace until darkness sets in.) Yes, that’s + LIFE Christmas Presents "LL probably give him a row of books That-he's read, or a case of clothing hooks, Which will fold up small and be put away, And will never be found on travel- ing day. Or a shaving-set with a mirror small, Tn which he can’t see his chin at all, Or perhaps I'll give him a fountain pen, , Or something “cute” to hang in his “den.” (Oh, “den” is a terrible thing to call The room that a man likes best of all!) I'd like to give him something new, Like a crystal flask filled with morn- ing dew, I begged of the flowers that loved us so That summer morning so long ago; Or I'd like to write little songs of mine In a book as green as an ivy vine, Little songs of things that we loved the best, Like the high-hung swaying robin’s nest We found last spring by the sleepy brook, When he held me high so that I could look. Why is it Christmas changes him From a cousin of the cherubim? I'd like to give him a big balloon, All gold and round like a summer moon, But he'd never guess the reason why. . . So all I can do is sit and sigh, And send him a self-filled fountain pen, Or something “cute” to hang in his “den!” M.C. L. First Heratpic Lion: you feel, old thing? Seconp Heratoic Lion: Right on the crest, old fruit! Sure Relief FOR INDIGESTION How do Must hearts break for want of sunshine? RY} Many courageous hearts Sy and frail bodies will break this winter. Bitter cold, dull skies and depressing climatic condi- »—< tions take their toll. Sta- tistics prove it. Winter’s chill, sinister influence is often too much for those fighting off “nerves,” pulmonary troubles, overwork and physical depletion. And how appalling—when sunshine, warmth, blue skies and dry velvety, in- vigorating air are only a few hours away in Tucson, Arizona. Thousands Benefited Every year hundreds acquire tingling, ro- bust hezlth in this wonderful man-budiding ch mate. Thousands of revitalized, permanent residents of Tucson originally sought health here. They remain, contented, vigorous, rebuilt physically. Tucson, modern city of 25,000, lies y a half-mile high plateau. Schools, churches, clubs, good shops, excellent hotels, reasonable rents and countless outdoor recreations make living enjoyable. A modest income commands every pleasure and care. Reduced Rates Reduced railroad rates are effective now. Direct Pullman service via Rock Island or Southern Pacific. Tucson is only 53 hours from Chicago; 73 from New York. Send for Booklet “Man-Building in the Sunshine-Climate” will be of surpassing interest to you. au- + thoritative. It may point the way to vibrant, lowing health for you, your family, your fread Send for it NOW. Sunshine»Climate Club ARIZONA TUCSON SUNSHINE-CLIMATE CLUB, 164 Old Pueblo Bldg., Tucson, Arizona. Please send me your free booklet,” Man-Building in the Sunshine» Climate.” N ADDRESS. Life’s Automat. CoMPARTMENTED rows Of years stretch far To Time’s horizon— Life’s Automat. Men stand before them Dropping their coins, Unequal in value; Yet all expect The same reward. Locks do not yield To wishes only. Who dines must drop The proper coin. A. H., Jr. Minister (kindly): And I sup- pose you want to be a pirate when you grow up, young man. Bossy (scornfully) : Naw! Boot- legger. comicbooks.com