Life — December 21, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE The Christmas Dinner A Playlet of the Annual Family Reunion HE scene is the dining-room in the apartment of Mr. and Mrs. Wrench. It was never planned with a view to banquets, but you have to have all the family to dinner some time, and Christmas is as good a day as any to get it over with. The din- ing-room chairs have been made to go around as far as they can, and the gaps have been They are all in action at the table when the scene opens. Mr. Wrencu: Come on, now Aunt Carrie, how about a little more? Here's a nice little piece looks to me as if it had your name writ- ten on it. Mrs. WRENCH: Aunt Carrie. Yes, please do, thought it was then — just twely years ago two days before Christ mas, and there was poor Allie’s bo) that broke through the ice with his new Christmas skates on, and dear old Dr. Nurnley took that last cold of his preaching his New Year's sermon. Yes, a sad, lonely time for all of us— Mr. WRENCH: Come on, now, Ada, filled in with a gilt chair from the par- lor, a_ practically mahogany rocker from the bedroom, and an ingenious affair, usually kept in the pantry, which can be folded into a chair if there is ab- solutely no other way to get around it, but which feels far more like itself in its intended capa- city as a short step- ladder. A small, in- distinct uncle from Little Falls occupies @ piano bench, set at a slant against one corner of the table. The characters are: Mr. Wrencu Mrs. WreNcH Aunt BERTHA, who is reputed to be able to sign her cheque for ten thousand dol- Mr. Sodwrecker: Is Brown a good player? Caddie: Naw, he can’t play at all. “Well—I’ll beat him.” “Tl bet you won't.” how about a little more? Here’s a nice little piece looks to me as if it had your name— Mrs. WRENCH: Yes, please do, Ada. Cousin Apa: My, no, I couldn’t touch it. It just seems to me as if you New York people do nothing but eat, eat, eat all day long. I should think you'd all be in your graves long be- fore— Uncte FRANK: Now you take condi- tions December three years ago. Well, sir, I was talking to this fellow Ed Speare, runs this big oilcloth mill, a pret- ty fine fellow, too, and I said, “No, sir,” I said, “you can't tell me things will pick up, not in five lars, and never even miss it. Cousin Josie, who teaches china painting. Uncie Frank, in business. Aunt Carrie, who has tried all the doctors. Lirtte Lucy, their daughter, whose teeth are expected to straighten out nicely by the time she is eighteen. Cousin CuHartre, who has never seemed to get along very well, somehow. Cousin Apa, who has heard that the New York women smoke in public. The small, indistinct uncle from Little Falls. the linoleum Aunt Carrie: Mercy, no, I couldn’t get it down. I never was a great hand for turkey—I always say to Frank when we go out to dinner, “Now don’t go spending a lot of money ordering turkey and stuff, be- cause I don’t care a thing about it.” I don’t know when I've had a piece of turkey before to-day—I suppose T'll suffer for eating this, later on. Dr. Massey says it’s one of the worst things you can put in your— Aunt Bertua: Yes, a sad, sad time. Every year I say, “Oh, dear, I just dread the holiday season, it’s such a sad, sad time.” Your poor dear Uncle George came down with lumbago—at least, that’s what we years nor ten years from to-day. And what's more, Mr. Speare,” I said— Coustn CHarite: Well, you were just about right there, all right. Cousin Joste (smiling roguishl) at little Lucy): Seems to me some- body’s lost her tongue. (Lucy promptly disproves this statement.) My, my, I guess if Santa Claus secs somebody doing a thing like that, he won't be so good to somebody when next Christmas comes around! (Little Lucy flings herself from one side of her chair to the other.) Mr. Wrencu: Come on_ now, Josie, here’s a little piece look’s— Mrs. Wrencu: Yes, please «io, Josie. (Continued on page 31) comicbooks.com