Life — December 21, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TEPHEN is two and a half, and has certain very definite rea- sons for wanting to complete the process of slipping an old iron wash- er over the stem of a broken Inger- soll. He has been working on it in his crib since five o'clock in the morning, and here it is barely six- thirty when the Head of the House comes in, dressed very unbecomingly in bath robe and slippers, and s: with forced gaiety: “Well now, sir, how about going downstairs and seeing what Santa has brought?” There has been a lot of talk about this “Santa” for several weeks past, none of it particularly interesting. It seems that he comes down the chimney or something, obviously a falsehood. And even if he does, what of it? However, the Head of the House and his Wife appear to ive a great deal of innocent merriment out of talking about the event; so it is best to hu- mor them and simulate an in- terest. This is a bit too thick, though, to be dragged away from important work with the iron washer and taken down- stairs on a purely speculative hunt after what this “Santa” may or may not have brought. It has been emphasized in the preliminary conversations on the subject that this “jolly old soul” reserves considerable lee- way to himself in the question of whether or not certain boys are to receive any pres- ents at all, the whole thing being contingent on whether or not they have been what is de ~ LIFE - The Young Folks’ Day A Child’s-eye View of the Whole Thing carried downstairs to where a large, brilliantly lighted tree is standing by the fire-place. A tree in the house is ridiculous in the first place, but there is unquestionably something nice about those lights. Do you sup- pose that by squeezing one of them the color could be made to ooze out into the hand, and from there be transferred to the face, like marma- lade or paints? Well, there is no y to find out like trying, so here goes. “No, no, Stephen! Mustn’t touch lights!" (Why will these people in- s on leaving out definite articl when talking to anyone ten ye younger than they are? Do they think it makes it any easier to under- stand them? They just make fools of themselves, that’s all.) “Here, see technically known as “good boys” during the two weeks previous. A glance back at Stephen’s behavior during the past two weeks convinces him that his chances are hardly worth while getting out of hed to go downstairs for. There is no other way, however, as he is picked up bodily (a cow- ardly thing for a great big bully like the Head of the House to do, simply because he has the size) and “He is picked up bodily and carried downstairs.” this dreat big booful doggie that Santa brought Stephen!” (Sicken- ing, isn’t it?) The “dreat big booful doggie” turns out to be a flat failure. It is too big, to begin with. Then, too, there 1s nothing about it with a hole in it, like that washer (by the way, where is that washer?) which can be slipped over the stem of the Ingersoll. In this world, everything stands or falls by its ability to be slipped over the stem of the Ingersoll. Then the Head of the House drags out a sort of mechanical banjo- player which you wind up and watch jump. The Head of the House thinks it is great. He winds it up and then says, “Look at that, will you, Doris Stephen tries to have a go at it, but it appears that it must be wound up by some older person. And if you can't wind a thing up your- self, what is the sense in fooling with it at all? “Well, I guess Sd pretty good to you, who ha: his toys their f. nta Claus was says a neighbor come in to see Stephen with “I just love to watch ces when they see all the new things,” she sa Anyone watching Stephen’s face, how- ever, would detect nothing more inspiriting than a slight expression of disgust at the Head of the House making such a show of himself over the mechanical banjo-player This goes on for some time, a line of grown-ups stepping up and waving some new in- anity in Stephen's face and saying, “Oh look, ’Teven!” (Another one calling him “’Teven” is going to get a good swift bust in the face) and then retiring to play with it themselves. There are two things left in the world that Stephen wants to do. One is to try pinch- ing those lights. And the other is to finish slipping the old iron washer over the stem of the Ingersoll. The lights are out of the question now, but not the washer. All you have to do is crawl very quietly up the s and down the hall (the me- chanical toys are making so much noise that no one will notice you) and there, on the floor, is the best little toy that God ever made. That, man, is a toy! And now to get down to work with it. After all, Christmas was meant for the grown-ups. The rest of us have things to do. R.C..B. stai comicbooks.com