Life — December 14, 1922 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Ghost With a Smile ‘When we become ghosts, maybe we will come back and smile and realize that the things we struggled so hotly for. did not make so much difference after all . . . except as they helped to make us the sort of ghosts that could smile. —Don Marquis, in New York Tribune. A Liquor Traffic Policeman Cit1zEN: So you refused $3,000 spot cash to let this liquor truck go? Cop: Yes, sir. Citizen: Were your honesty? Cop: Sure, sir; the chief gave me a case.—Princeton Tiger. The Motor Aristocracy “You have no lower classes in this country?” “Certainly we have.” “And what do you call them?” “Pedestrians.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. you rewarded for He: Harvey said women have no The Small Man: souls. . Sue: David said all men are liars. —Boston Transcript. my The Big Man: T'll make a bet with you, sir, that you cannot guess profession. Well, you're not a tea-taster, —Town Topics (London) No Case In a divorce case the counsel of the lady plaintiff pleaded among other rea- sons incompatibility of temper, and de- scribed the husband’s character as: “Brutal, violent, passionate.” The husband’s counsel then arose in his turn and represented the lady as being: “Spiteful, angry, waspish.” “T beg your pardon,” interrupted the judge, “but, gentlemen, I really don't quite see where the incompatibility of temper comes in.” —Weekly Telegraph (London). Not to Be Caught TEACHER: This time we are going to have a little talk on wading birds. Of these the familiar stork is one—what are you laughing at, Elsie? Lirtte Etsiz: Oh, but teacher—the idea of there being any storks! —Kasper (Stockholm). As One Maid to Another “You can’t imagine, my dear, the number of young men who paid atten- tion to me at the dance.” “But that’s quite useless, my dear; you've already imagined them yoursel{.” —Sans-Géne (Paris). “Ave a bit o’ ketchup with yer sos- sidge, Sam?” “Not for me, thanks. lily, I calls it.” —Humorist (London) Gildin’ the Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U.S. Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. ~ Back numbers cannot be supplied. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams_ Buildings, London, E. C. Canadian distributor, The American News Company, Ltd., 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, Canada. No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two weeks prior to the date of issue to be affected. HOLIDAY PACKINGS CHOCOLATES BON BONS FRENCH BONBONNIERES comicbooks.com