Life, 1922-12-14 · page 14 of 36
Life — December 14, 1922 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces: **"My Husband Says"** (L.B.S.): A domestic humor column about a wife's attempt to brighten a rainy day by decorating with a red rose and catnip. The joke relies on the husband's indifference to her efforts and his cat's enthusiasm—satirizing how men supposedly ignore their wives' attempts at home beautification while pets respond immediately. **"The Conqueror"** (E.S.V.Z.): A poem reflecting on Christianity's historical triumph over pagan Rome and earlier religions, celebrating Christ's victory where emperors and gods once ruled. It's presented as philosophical commentary on religious and historical progress. **Bottom cartoon** (Edward Monkres, signed): A domestic scene where a child asks his father for a "brand-new baby sister for Christmas," and the father replies he's already given two—implying they're unwanted. This satirizes large families and suggests children as burdensome.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
My Husband Says HAT we must make it a point to be nice to his Aunt Julia on his father’s side. For even if she is awfully rich, she is just a poor lonely old lady after all, with no children or anybody. And ~~ she hasn’t even any pets. She says she thinks her nephew makes altogether too much of a pet of me. But my husband says she inherits a rotten disposition from her mother’s side. She came ‘to lunch unexpectedly one rainy day last week; and I wanted to make the table bright and at- tractive for her, and she hates china birds and mirrors and things like that. And I had no cut flowers, so I put a stunning old red rose, that I used to wear on a big hat with a drooping brim, in a bowl of water, and stood fresh catnip around the edge for a touch of green. The color ran from the rose and my husband said it looked like a hemorrhage and I thought it looked lovely too. Katie let our Angora cat in. He had been chasing leaves over the lawn and some of them stuck to him. He is awfully cunning and he jumped up on the table and sat down beside the catnip. My husband said “My God!” and his Aunt Julia said she thought she had detected a long hair in her soup and now she was sure of it. But I’m sure Tiddlewinks wouldn’t have jumped up on the table if he hadn't wanted to. It was his catnip anyway. The Conqueror TRANGE—is it not? The Czsars pass, shorn of their power and pride, While He, the lowly-born, is King whom they once crucified! . Where’er to-morrow’s sun shall dawn o’er seas and Jands far-flung, The name of Christ shall rise to God, and Christmas hymns be sung. Two thousand years! Where echoes now a chant to Persian god, Or pagan prayer of peoples who felt the Roman rod? Who bends to Druid deities, who worships Wodin’s name? As sunshine routeth shadows they vanished when He came! The star that led the errant seers was not revealed to them Who crooked the knee to emperors, and knew not Bethlehem; But regnant Rome—where is it? Where reign the gods of Greece? The world is lost to Casar—it hails the Prince of Peace! How amusing is one’s self-importance when one re- members that the graveyards are filled with dear dead Indispensables ! “Bobbie, how’d you like your daddy to give you a brand-new baby sister for Christmas?” “Aw no, Doctor! He gave me two of those already, and they’re no good anyhow.’ comicbooks.com ne he ou