Life — December 7, 1922 — page 62: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Nine Glorious Weeks 66 Days and Nights of Enchantment on Land and Sea 4 Mauretania The Luxurious TO THE Mediterranean The Seventh Sea of Delight The Luxury Cruise This Winter From New York February 7th Under the experienced Tour Manage- ment of the American Express Travel Department in full cooperation with the Cunard Line. Leisurely inland excursions from every port of call—every convenience and superior facilities for visiting the most interesting places, including AZORES, MADEIRA, GIBRALTAR, CADIZ, ALGIERS, MONTE CARLO, NAPLES, THE DARDANELLES, CONSTANTINOPLE, ATHENS, PALESTINE, ALEXANDRIA, Up the Nile to the FIRST CATARACT; CORSICA, the home of Napoleon, LISBON, SOUTHAMPTON, LONDON, CHERBOURG The Mauretania your home all the way Limited Bookings. Reservations should be made at once. For full particulars, call or phone any American Express office or write AMERICAN EXPRESS Travel Department 65 BROADWAY, NEW YORK Always carry American Express Travelers Cheques 1 OOLISH PORARIES Rushed to Death During the flue epidemic at Camp Bowie base hospital, many of the doc- tors worked twenty hours a day. One rookie medico had a seventy-five-bed ward thrust upgn him the first di f his Army career. He struggled vali- antly with his professional work, but failed to realize that he was now a soldier. He forgot the sacred morning re- ports. He forgot to make out the sacred mess regulations. He exas- perated everybody. Finally the colo- nel hauled him to the carpet and de- magded: “Why in the blankety-blank-blank don’t. you read your Army regula- tions ?” The young doctor looked at him in py-eyed surprise. Army regulations?” he ejaculated. “Good Lord, colonel, I haven't even had time to read the newspapers!” —American Legion Weekly. In the Fog The old gentleman was lost in a London fog, so thick that he could scarcely see his hand before his face. He became seriously alarmed when he found himself in a slimy alley. Then he heard footsteps approaching through the obscurity, and sighed with relief. “Where am I going?” he cried, anx- iously. A voice replied darkness: “Into the river—I've just come out!” —Tit Bits. weirdly from the In a Pinch use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE When Critics Get Together. “How did you find ‘The Ivory Soap Dish,’ Gerald? Speaking for myself, I found it a Well Motivated Story, Re- plete with Thrills.” “You are right, there, Arnold. It has a Sheer Forcefulness that is Nothing if Not Impressive.” “Yes, the author proves that in addi- tion to being a Born Story Teller he is a Satirist with a Masterly and Ut- terly Ruthless Hand.” —New York Herald. Overswinging the Lead Tue Tramp: Kind lady, I ain’t one er them what's seen better days. I ain’t ’ad no better days. I’ve bin ne- glected right from the start—bein’ born in a little attic in Lunnen while me par- ents was down at Southend enjoying , theirselves— Punch. QE. D. Tutor: Now then, Smith, have you proved that proposition in Euclid? Stupent: Well, sir, ‘proved’ is a strong word, but I can say I’ve ren- dered it highly probable! —Humorist (London). “Do you think the end of the world is near?” “Well, it’s nearer than ever before.” —Stevens Tech. Stone Mill. SaaS Are You Entertaining To-night? Abpollinaris “The Queen of Table Wate:s"” A Welcome Guest at Formal Dinner or Informal Supper Sole Importers Apollinatis Agency Co., New York Fifth Avenue at 42nd Street Men Like This Gift! N ‘AKE pipe-smokers happy with Locktite Tobacco Pouch. You couldn't do better with a mint to spend and months to shop. Most practical pouch made. Stays flat, keeps pockets clean. Nobuttons or strings. Patent top opens easy, closes tight. At cigar, drug and leather goods stores. If dealer cane # not supply, sent on receipt of price. Ge ¢ oat : G5enuine Ooze Call, Bowe 1.25 auct 1.50 Beis 3.00 Made and Fully Guaranteed by The F. S. MILLS CO., Inc., Gloversville, N. Y. Par. OFF Oy C Extracts . AFULL QUART of the ‘most delicious non-alco- holie Cordial io made’ with the contents of each of these litle bottles. From Nancy, France, in 25 flavors. Use the fruit favors for pudding sauces. If your dealer cannot supply fac wa his naene eect ote for trial bottle and a copy of - } “Original, Redpes’” ou in- tvresting booklet. a ouquins Restaurant & Wine Co. 483. West B’ Local ( ball was Ig $0) are kine inb thin thin thei thot new pict roo! hav and mis men don’ yeai use tive imp how spor be by sor} fort mar just righ evel comicbooks.com