Life, 1922-12-07 · page 44 of 80
Life — December 7, 1922 — page 44: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical letters about a detective or investigation agency ("Noel, Noel & Tannenbaum") that reports on gift purchases—apparently to help people avoid duplicating gifts or making poor choices. **The joke**: Two wealthy clients praise the agency extravagantly. The first woman avoided buying a $785 silver set by learning her aunt would prefer a Havelock Ellis book instead—saving $783. The second man received Prohibition-era contraband Scotch whisky from his grandson, and the report apparently prompted him to rewrite his will favorably. The satire mocks both conspicuous consumption among the wealthy and the absurdity of paying for espionage services on personal shopping. During Prohibition (1920-1933), the Scotch reference adds humor: the grandfather is so pleased about receiving illegal alcohol that he's rewriting his will. The cartoon below shows a street urchin telling his mother he sold papers and customers told him to "keep the change"—a sentimental Christmas moment contrasting sharply with the wealthy characters' material obsessions above.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Cy them quite unsolicited by grateful clients: Railroad View Apartments, Riverside Drive, New York, December 26th, 1921. Messrs. Noel, Noel & Tannenbaum, New York. GENTLEMEN: - My husband and I cannot thank you sufficiently for your valuable services this Christmas. We had ordered for my aunt, Mrs. Sutphen Van Blaa, of Riverdale-on-the-Hud- son, a $785 case of sterling flat table silver from the Maiden Lane Branch of the Widewideworld Silver Com- pany, with twenty-four of every- thing in it, even oyster forks, when your report containing the news about the imitation Ming temple jar arrived. My husband estimates that by purchasing instead a copy of Little Essays on Love and Duty, by Havelock Ellis, he saved $783 on this transaction alone. It seemed a very suitable gift for an old lady of 73, judging by the title. Gratefully yours, SELINA SCHUYLER BaciIGALuPo. LIFE The Post Graduate Club, Fifth Avenue, New York, December 26th, 1922. Messrs. Noel, Noel & Tannenbaum, New York. GENTLEMEN : I received your report containing the information as to where my grandson purchased the case of Scotch which was delivered to me by motor truck early yesterday morn- ing, and I think that I do not exaggerate when I say that in all probability I owe my life to your excellent Christmas intelligence ser- vice. Kindly mail a copy of your report, typewritten on more substan- tial paper, to my attorneys, Messrs. Randall, Phillips, Edson, Storm & Jennings, 2 Wall Street, and request them to file the same with my new last will and testament which I exe- cuted this afternoon. Thanking you for your efficient ser- vice, Truly yours, Cornetius M. Firnv. A Christmas Windfall Gifts I WILL bring you amethysts, web. bed in silver lace, Stained with purple from the hills of some far place; Sapphires that have raped the sky of its fairest blue, ° Topazes of filtered gold, I'll bring to you. Emeralds of softest green, stolen from the Spring, Rubies where the crimson sun's a a living thing, Ivory as white as death, I will search it out; Opals, too, as saddening as lovers’ doubt. Onyxes that mirror night in an end- less pool, Coral with the pink of dawn, Heav- en-sent and cool, Myrrh and incense I will bring— Earth’s whole treasure spent— Just so soon as I have paid my next month’s rent. “Mother, I sold all me papers an’ every one o’ me customers told me to keep de change.” comicbooks.com