Life, 1922-11-30 · page 23 of 36
Life — November 30, 1922 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces: **"Say It With Slogans"** is a humorous story about Bertie Braying, a famous advertising slogan writer. The satire mocks both the advertising industry and the absurdity of catchy slogans. Bertie churns out ridiculous taglines (like "Peke-a-boo: A Peke for You" for dog breeders) with mechanical precision, treating them as profound wisdom. The joke's payoff comes when Bertie claims to be "as punctual as the tides"—then admits he doesn't actually know if tides are punctual. This punctures his pretentious authority, suggesting that advertisers and copywriters create impressive-sounding but meaningless claims. The accompanying cartoon shows a domestic scene where a woman complains her fiancé is "mean"—he timed his proposal for the day before her birthday so the engagement ring could serve as both gifts. It's gentle satire on romantic (in)sensibility. **"Thoughts in a Cellar"** is a light poem about Prohibition-era hiding spots for illegal liquor during alcohol's ban.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Eileen: Clarence is the meanest man I know. lean: Eileen: He waited to propose until the day before my birthday and then gave me the en- gagement ring for a birthday present. ERTIE BRAYING, the “Say- It-With-Slogans” man, bustled into his office and rustled through the pile of correspondence neatly ar- ranged on his desk. He was punctual, as was fitting for a man who had achieved his emi- nence, for Bertie was universally recognized as the greatest slogan writer the world of advertising had ever known. Naturally, he lost no time getting to work. His secretary was waiting, pencil poised, for his first words. “Application for slogan from Mme. Journee, the operatic coach,” he dictated, inspecting the topmost letter. Send her a form letter, a bill for my usual fee and this slogan: “Mme. Journee: She Taught the Victrola How to Sing.’” He handed the letter to his assis- tant and took up another. Say It With Slogans “From the Pekinese kennels,” he resumed. “Send them the customary bill—send everyone I answer the customary bill—and enclose slogan: “ Peke-a-boo: A Peke for You.’” The great slogan writer paused and inspected several letters. “In order, the following slogans— with the bills,” he continued. “Verbo Corset Company—‘A bet- ter Shaper Than Destiny.’ “Brazil Nut, Ltd—‘We Feed the Squirrels: Why Not You?’ “Durbar Shoe Manufactories— ‘The Last Is First.’ “Ford Motor Company—‘Auto- Suggestion.’ “Marble © Hill Wait Your Call.’ “That will be all for this morning,” he went on. “If anyone calls say that I. will return at two o'clock. I will be here on the minute. As Cemetery—‘We you know, I am as punctual as the tides.” He paused at the door to give a parting instruction. “By the way, you might look in the encyclopedia and see if the tides really are punctual,” he said. “If they are, make note of that for our next railroad client. ‘The So-and-So trains are as punctual as the tides.’” J. K. M. Thoughts in a Cellar Now, is it slicker, On the whole, To hide my likker ’Neath my coal,— Or, on the whole, Would it be slicker To hide my coal Beneath my likker? S. B. comicbooks.com