Life — November 16, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Patrician of Ancient Rome: By the way, Marcellus, some of my good wife’s relatives are journeying to Rome to visit us. EXT Saturday comes the head- line writers’ “Grid Tilt” of Yale versus Princeton or vice versa. The first thing which no true fol- lower of sport should ignore is that this year Yale is selecting cheer lead- ers by general election, instead of conferring the honor automatically on tall blonds. This will make loads of difference somehow or other. The teams will be in splendid con- dition, except the Yale back-field, which is still in the hospital, and the Princeton line, which has been at the undertaker’s for days. Both coaches feel that the respective schedules have been too hard this season, and next year should see the Mergendorf Tonsil Clinic dropped from each. and the Montessori Prep team sub- stituted. However, the rival men- tors will be equally confident of vic- tory, though self-confessedly the kind of men who believe in doing things first, and ‘talking about them afterwards. * ok * There will be an attendance—a record one of course—of not less The Big Game than 65,000 “souls,” as the Post will call them, and the stands will be a riot of color, the red and black of old Eli vying with the green of Nas- sau in the exterior decorations of those present. * * * Princeton will kick off to Yale, who will fumble. Yale will then punt to Princeton, who will also fumble, the ball being recovered by the referee, both teams following and applauding. Several heavy wagers will lose some weight, and lots of old grads will tell the world how they would play the game if they were in there. At no time will any player lean over the fence and look up at his best girl waving a pennant at him, “but the magazine cover ar- tists who may be present will not no- tice the omission. Or, if they do, they will draw no lesson from it. Between the halves, Yale will sing “Lord Jeffrey Amherst” with three “Chicagoes” on the end, and Prince- ton’ will courteously reply with “Harvard Is Marching Up the Street.” Both teams will be given Do you happen to know of a good reliable assassin? their mid-year examinations, and those members attaining passing grades will be allowed to resume play. Substitutes will then be sent in with wrong instructions and there will be at least one forward pass which starts as a carom off tackle, but is revoked and turns into a long run by the other side in surprised formation, their opponents follow- ing through Ramp 3, Sec. A-D. (En- ter North Gate, green tickets only.) * * * When the final whistle and the teams are blown, automobiles will be hopelessly jammed until after the special policemen go home; all trains but the very last to leave will wait until they become stalled. The last train will be cancelled entirely by the railroad officials just to be funny. This will give all old grads a chance to compare notes in the aisles, as to how they would have played the game if they had been in there. And the winners of the wagers will agree with the losers that college either makes or breaks a man: A.C. M. A. comicbooks.com