Life — October 19, 1922 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

y WLDOUGLAS $5 $657 &§88 SHOES * LIFE: FOR MEN AND WOMEN are actually demanded year after year by more people than any other shoe in the world BECAUSE: For style, material and workmanship they are unequaled. Protection against -by the price stamped on every pair. unreasonable profits is guaranteed Years of satisfactory service have given them confi- dence in the shoes and in the protection afforded by the ‘W. L. Douglas Trade Mark. W. L. DOUGLAS shoes are put into all of our 110 stores at a _— factory cost. We do not make one cent of profit until the shoes are sold to you. It is worth dollars for you to remember that when you buy shoes at our stores YOU PAY ONLY ONE PROFIT. No matter where ou live, shoe dealers can supply you with las shoes. They cost no more in ut San Franciscothan they do in New England. our $7.00 and $8.00 shoes with any $10.00 or $12.00 shoes If not for sale in your vicinity, send for free catalog. TO MERCHANTS: It no dealer In your town handles W. Douglas Shoes, write today for . ke exclusive rights to handle this quick selling, quick turn-over line. oii American (in his effort to ask for a singe in a perfect French accent): Singe. Coiffeur (who is rather sensitive about his personal appearance): Comment? ? ? American: Je dis singe. Coiffeur: Va-t-en, dairty peeg! —Reproduced from Punch (London) by arrangement with the proprietors. No one can be braver than a congress- man who has decided not to run again. —Ohio State Journal. SureRelief FOR INDIGESTION 6 BELLANS Hot water Sure Relief 25¢ aNd 75¢ PACKAGES EVERYWHERE Refreshes Weary Eyes When Your Eyes feel Dull and Heavy, use Murine, It In- seanely Relievesthat TiredFeeling =Makes them Clear, Bright an Sparkling. Harmless, Sold and ded by Ali Druggists. “QNURINE led by ‘Fon your EYES Secretarial Works The story goes that Mary Pickford and Charlie Chaplin recently met in one of the moving picture studios. Said Charlie : “Mary, I don’t like what you said about me in your book.” “Why, what did I say?” questioned Mary. “Haven't you read it?” asked Charlie. “Oh, mercy, no,” Mary replied, “I’ve a new play in rehearsal and I haven't had time. But by the way, somebody told me you panned me in your new book.” “That so?” said Chaplin. “I’ll have to read it and see.”—Japan Advertiser. Gilt-Edged Modesty They say that Ford is so democratic that he is not ashamed to ride in one of his own cars. It recalls the story of the hard-boiled captain of industry to whom a friend was introducing a young man just out of college and seeking a job. “He is a fine, modest young man,” said the friend. “Modest?” snorted the big man. “What in thunder has he ever done to become modest about?” —Norfolk Virginian-Pilot. Crude Stuff Dear Mrs. McGowan across the hall was speaking of the trouble she’s been having with her car. “But everybody has trouble lately,” she said; “and it’s nothing in the world but them using these raw materials at the factories."—Motor Life. Housewire: I want a servant. She must be honest, industrious, clean and reliable. EmpLoyMENT AGENT: You had bet- ter take four, ma’am. You will pos- sibly find those virtues among them. —Hvepsen (Christiania). The Lament of a Grandfather “Punch is not what it used to be” Old Saying Marriage threatens to be but a slack tie: Snuff as a fashion has passed away: Schoolboys rarely can boast of a blacked eye; Nobody carols a roundelay ; Manners and sherry have lost their sway; Flappers are pert to the nth degree; Worst of all, I regret to s: Punch is not what it used to be! Though the subject necessitates tact, 1 Plump for the japes of an elder day; As a worshipper temporis acti, d Humour, I’m certain, is in decay, Once with laughter I'd loudly bray A joke was a joke in ’63; Threepence a week did I blithely pay; Punch is not what it used to be! Jests in earlier numbers were stacked high (None of your delicate rapier play); Puns I frequently quoted, in fact, I Quote ’em still, though I’m more than grey. Yes, they were puns that will live for aye, Just as they lived in the years B.C, Is there a point in a new joke? Nay, Punch is not what it used to be! . L’Envor. Sir, I have questioned my friends, and they Roundly declare that they side with me; Some of them even exclaimed, “Hur- ray!” Punch is not what it used to be! —London Mail, A Specialist Youne Doctor (introducing his only patient to a friend): Mr. Brandel—my practice.—Fliegende Blatter. A minute saved isa minute gained FOR MEN ONLY SHOE LACING HOOKS ra LACING HOOKS CAN BE OBTAINED ON EX- CLUSIVE MODELS OF QUALITY FOOTWEAR. INSIST ON HAVING WHAT YOU WANT. OF BRAINS IGARS FOR_g MEN- “MADE AT KEY WEST= comicbooks.com