Life — September 14, 1922 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ces 5) i) aa UGLAS 6 $800 SHOES itv No Strings To It! ‘ADE without strings or but. tons. Patent closing device opens smoothly—closes tight. To. bacco can’t leak out into pocket, Handy, compact, good looking. Ask for LOCK. TITE atcigar,drug or leather goods stores. If dealer cannot supply send $1.25 f oF = most popular Made and Fully Guaranteed by TheF.S. MILLS CO., Inc., Gloversville,N.Y, oe Symes cee shoesare olutely the best shoe values for SHOES AND SAVE inquality,best in style,best the money in this country. MONEY. all around shoes for boys. All W. L. Douglas shoes are made of the|It is worth dollars for you to remember best and finest leathers, by skilled shoe-|that when you buy shoes at our stores makers, all working to make the best shoes) YOU PAY ONLY ONE PROFIT. for the pricethat money can buy. Thequality|Nq matter where you live, shoe dealers can is unsurpassed. The smart styles are the) supply you with W. L. Douglas shoes. They leaders in the fashion centers of America.|-ost no more in San Francisco than they do Only by examining them can youappreciatelin New York. Insist upon having W. L. their wonderful value. Shoes of equal quality; Douglas shoes with the name and retail cannot be bought elsewhere at anywhere |price stamped on the sole. Do not take a near our prices. substitute and pay extra profits. Order direct from the factory and save money. $4.50 shoes for boys, best W. L. Douglas shoes are put into all of our/ 110 storesat factory cost. Wedonot make one} Write for Catalog Toda cent of profit until the shoesare sold to you.| 147 Spare ‘Sted Pockton, Mase. Scottish Howlers OUR FOOLISH Here are some new “howlers” quoted in the Provincial, the magazine of the CONTEMPO ARIES Edinburgh Provincial Training Col- \ Gk lege: ‘Socrates died of an overdose of N wedlock”; “A marsupial is an animal with a pouch in its stomach, into which it retires when hard pressed.” “An epi- taph is a short sarcastic poem.” “Beck- ett met Henry on the altar steps and said, ‘What ho, King!’ Henry severely massacred him.” —London Morning Post. Taking No Chances William, the sixth-grade son of Mr. and Mrs. James R. Smith, passed up school one alluring winter afternoon and in order to avoid any unpleasant- ness that might naturally arise from the situation, wrote out his own note to his teacher the following day: “Please excuse William because of illness. (Signed) Mrs. J. P. Smith.” The note was correctly written and extremely well done and “got by” splen- didly until the teacher happened to meet Mrs. Smith several days later. During the conversation son William’s “game” was uncovered, and that night he was third-degreed by the family. “But why in the world, William, did you sign the note ‘Mrs. J. P. Smith’? Don’t you know our initials are J. R. Smith?” asked the father. “Sure, I know that, father, but do you think I wanted to be caught for forgery ?”—Indianapolis News. Trouble Enough “What’s the matter, dear? You look | Milano fifth /henucs ku orite/ pe unhappy.” “Oh, dear, I married Dick for ali- “Ty mony and. then T fell in love with him, ro ie A and now it breaks my heart to divorce here Is something him."—London Mail. tine about it Wai DEMUTH 6. NEW YORW THAT: small boy who was knocked down by a man riding a bicycle is said to have threatened, as he got up: “I'll tell my father on you, and he has an au- tomobile that can knock you off your bicycle.”—Detroit News. Still Carefree Seasie Lanptapy (to maid): I thought I told you to present the bill to number 13? Maw: Yus, mum, I ’ave. Lanptapy: Impossible. I can still hear him singing—London Opinion In a Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE The Climbers “Can't you make fifteen or twenty words out of that, Helen?” said Mrs. Newrich as her daughter was writing a telegram. “I don’t want the clerk to think we can’t afford more than ten words.”——Boston Transcript. Hussy: Don’t worry so_about the cook’s impudence, Jane. Don't take any notice of her. Wirey: I have to; she’s just given it—Weekly Telegraph (London) ‘TRADE MARK REG. U. S. PAT. OFF, THE ORIGINAL wide GARTER A garter that fits the leg without binding is as indispensable to health and com- fort as a shoe that fits the foot with- out cramping. The soft wide web- bing yields to every movement, and allows veins and muscles free play. It holds snugly because the shaped webbing really fits the calf. Fine for sportsmen. 35¢ to $1, everywhere, in single grip, the EZ. 2-Grip, and the E.Z. Sport Garter. Also the new E.Z. Wide Suse penders, $1. Made solely by The Thos. P. Taylor Co., Bridgeport, Conn. comicbooks.com ! r F 1 1 t F 1 L 1 I I b t }