Life, 1922-09-14 · page 12 of 40
Life — September 14, 1922 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical play script mocking military bureaucracy. The plot concerns supply officers and sergeants debating what to do with surplus mice and kittens discovered in military stores. Despite the absurdity, they rigidly apply regulations, unable to simply discard the animals because "military law must decide." The satire targets how military institutions prioritize procedure over common sense—here, treating the disposition of unwanted animals as a formal matter requiring official channels rather than practical solution. The accompanying illustration shows rural workers observing the military absurdity, with the caption "Ha! Ha! that sure is a good joke on them cows"—reinforcing that even civilians recognize the ridiculousness of such rigid bureaucratic thinking.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Scene: Headquarters, —st Air Gun Squadron, N. G. UPPLY OFFICER: The mice in here are very unmilitary. Sergeant, did you requisition that cat? -SguapRon Suppiy SERGEANT: Yes, sir. And here’s its papers. (Reads.) One cat, mouser; first class. Character: excellent. Orricer: To be sure, to be sure. When does it arrive? SERGEANT: It arrived yesterday— a fine-looking specimen, too, sir. Orricer: Good! Turn it out. SERGEANT (blowing his whistle): Fweeeee ! Caa-aat! Faa-linn! (Noth- ing results but a faint mew.) OrFIcer (impatiently) Well? Where is it—A. W. O. L.?) Or merely lacking in military courtesy? (The sergeant goes over to the cat's pup tent and peers in.) SERGEANT: Crissmus! Six kittens! Orricer: Kittens, eh? That's fine. 1 may be a stern man, sergeant, and military, but I have a weakness for kittens. (4s if encouraged, the cat emerges from her pup tent and Kittens! - IESE For Cat’s Sake A Stirring Drama of Military Red Tape advances three paces toward officer.) Cat! Atten—shun! (benignly) : As you were. (Cat retires.) Good-looking cat, sergeant. Fine military whiskers. SERGEANT: Yes, sir. But what will we do with the little ones? Orricer: Do with ’em? Keep ’em. Too bad there aren’t two more. We'd have a squad. SERGEANT: Please, sir, we can tion one cat. eR: That’s so. Dear, dear! Very awkward. Very unmilitary, after all. Issue a cat martial. : Ah, the poor thing! : Ican’t help it. I must. Regulations call for one cat. Cat absolutely cannot bring friends or relatives into the organization. Lit- tle cats are too young to enlist. My duty is painful, but clear. SERGEANT: Can't ye give it a dis- honorable discharge? Orricer: No, that would reflect back on her character. Military law must decide. SERGEANT: But the major hates cats, sir. He’ll have them all drowned at sunrise. Can’t ye save them? Orricer: Let me think ... (Deep in concentration, his eye wanders idly over some supply papers.) Ser- geant, we are shy one-half dozen ice- boxes, one-half dozen canteens, on half dozen cups, aluminum, one-half dozen— Ah! Ihave it! [have it! SerceANT: That ye have, sir. What is it? Orricer: I’ve saved the cat. And I’ve saved the little ones. (He points to place on supply paper.) Check them off here. SERGEANT: There? But—oh, | see, sir. (He obeys joyfully). Orricer: And to make no mis- take, keep them in the non-com mess. SERGEANT: Very good, sir. (Seven assorted happy meows are heard from under the pup tent.) Orricer: Sergeant, for an offi- cer, I am extremely intelligent. Serceant: Sir—'tis a pleasure to serve under you. Who else would think of checking off them young cats as mess-kits ! (They congratulate each other.) | Curratn. H.W.H Hired Man (watching artist at work): Ha! Ha! that sure is a good joke on them cows. comicbooks.com Ca A) ae oe