Life — September 7, 1922 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Vol. 80. 2079 “While there is Life there’s Hope” Published by LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY London Offices, Rolls House, Breams Bldgs., London, E. C. 598 Madison Avenue, New York NEW YORK, SUNDAY, SEPT. 3, 1922. EDITORIALS A THoucHT For Topay: Astigmatism is making great strides among the women of India. THE LAST STRAW Not since the days of the Know-Nothing party has this country witnessed such an exhibition of laissez-faire as is now taking place in Washington. Following each other in swift succession the Renish-Gongover Bill, the report of the Klaub Committee, the half- hearted attempt to swim from the Statue of Liberty to Land’s End, and the way the bis- cuits were baked this morning, all constitute a record of which the Republican party, or the Democratic party for that matter, can hardly be proud. As Lire has pointed out before, no nation can exist for long without some sort of method in handling its water supply. It is of no avail to bury one’s head in the sand and trust to the Railway Labor Board. Far better bury the Railway Labor Board in the sand and trust to one’s head. Matters are approaching a crisis. Facts must be faced. If the Administration is un- able to cope with the situation, if the peo- ple of the United States are unable to cope with it, if the assembled nations of the world are unable to cope with it, then the editorial staff of this paper must be called in to settle the thing. The choice is yours, Mr. President! CLOSING THE ARGUMENT Our courteous neighbor, the Courier-Times- Journal, accuses us of misquoting its edi- torial in which it attacks us for misquoting a still earlier editorial in that paper written in reply to an editorial in this paper charg- ing the Courier-Times-Journal with mis- quoting one of our editorials. We have no wish to enter into an argument with our venerated contemporary, but we can not al- low its gross misstatement of facts to cloud the issue. - The Courier-Times-Journal quotes us as saying that “never before has the legislative arm of our government been called upon to put out fires.” It then goes on to point out that in 1891 the New York State Legislature was impressed into service for this purpose. Any one not deliberately blinded by prej- udice would have known that this instance was implied in our editorial. We hardly thought it necessary to cite it. We forgot that our revered opponent was in such a state of moral senescence that it counted no argument too petty, no point too minute, to be used in an attack on us. Let the matter be closed with our calling the editors of the Courier-Times-Journal a bunch of crooked low-lives who don’t know enough to—to—to come in when it rains, A NOTABLE ANNIVERSARY Today marks the seventy-first birthday of John Perkish, a leading citizen of this city and president of our largest department store, We take this opportunity to congratulate the venerable merchant prince on his services to the community in establishing the Perkish Fund for Band Concerts, his many gifts of time and money to our various charities, and his constant utilization of advertising space in our newspapers. May he live to be a hun- dred years young. LETTERS FROM OUR READERS A Missing Boy To the Editor of Lire: Will you be good enough to ask the help of your readers throughout the United States to help a mother find her lost son? The police have been useless in giving help, but I do not wish to stop trying to find him until every aid has been used. Robert was seven years old when he disappeared from his home. He was wearing a wash sailor suit, blue, with cap to match. He was last seen at 1:45 p. M. today. It is now 1:58 and no trace of him has been found. Please help send him back to A Heartbroken Mother. Are We Impolite? To the Editor of Lire: Having been a resident in New York for more than three months I want to say that I think New York men are the most impo- lite in the world. The writer is a Western girl and used to the politeness of the men in God’s Country, especially when in street- cars. Not once during my residence here has any man offered me his seat in subway, elevated, or surface car. Is this the Eastern civilization they told me was so fine? Rather the reverse, I think. (Mrs.) Hannah L. Steemer. The Fly Wheel By “The Fly Wheeler” THE PROFANE COLYUM CONDUCTOR The happy crowds flock to the countryside, While some to the sea do swarm, But the colyumist swelters his desk beside, Though the weather is moist and warm. In an office as gay as an empty barn, Through days that are hot as—well, He dashes off jokes, with a murmured d-rn,— Oh, a colyumist’s life is h-ll! First the coal strike, and then the railroad strike. One more strike, and the public will be out. OH, WRITE YOUR OWN HEADING FOR THIS! Miss Lydia Mae Bacon and Mr. Otto C, Liver were married last night at the home of the bride’s parents, 41la South Scrod Street —¥ ose! Falls (Minn.) Courier-Face- cloth. Well, there’s one sure thing about the Russian situation. No matter how they come out over there, it will never be a close shave for the Bolsheviki. Even short skirts, strikes, and the Volstead act cannot take our mind off the welcome news that Herbert J. Carburetor runs a dry goods shop at 42 Crutch Street, Little Falls; Horace Paperhanger is a swimming instructor at Cluttered Beach, N. J.; Wladiswlaw J. Lather is an electrician up on Central Park West, and Miss Inez R. Hangnail is head waitress at the Hotel Cantaloupe in Fall River, Mass. And yet ol’ Bill Shakespeare started all that agitation about there being nothing in a name! MY, HOW SHORT THE SKIRTS ARE GROWING! Mary had a little lamb, But that is not the half,— We see without a diagram She had a little calf. Jay Ell Ef. Our idea of a really soft job is to be ap- pointed manager of a chain of barber shop over in Russia, The fashion dispatches from Paris say that long skirts are coming into style again. They can’t make us mad. As the optimist said when he was struck blind, “Well, I’ve seen about everything.” Many vacationists, these days, have turned out to be the boys that put the “shun” into “prohibition” and are rush- ing the “can” into “Canada.” Lenine and Trotsky may be double-faced, but even their worst enemy couldn’t say that they are smooth-faced liars. Venice town hall is destroyed by flames early today.—Headline. Hot Doge! comicbooks.com