Life — August 3, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

My Headstone At last, I have found it, the ideal elegiac, terse, modest, and with just the requisite quality of dignified regret. It runs: “Here lies a laughed To read how he was epitaphed.” —Beachcomber, in London Express. man who would have Embarrassing All were quiet in the cinema watching a comic character counterfeiting intoxi- cation, The silence was broken by a small boy’s shrill voice: “That ain’t the way to be drunk, is it, farver?” —London Morning Post. The Second Wind Track Coacu: What are you going to run—the mile or the two-mile? Runner: I don’t know. I can tell better at the end of the mile. —Willamette Collegian. Artist: I can let at that price, because we are no longer in an “ “TEACHERS are funny,” says little But y Willie; “look at ’em goin’ to school in their vacation!”—Boston Transcript. “So be it. in the lemon with them.” “At Home” A Park Avenue apartment house which goes in for flunkeys, recently blossomed out with a new doorman, When a gentleman called and asked to see Mrs. Brown, the new attendant, true to his calling, detained him with the customary, “But is Mrs. Brown expect- ing you?” The caller withered him with a glance “My good man,” he said, “Mrs. Brown was expecting me before I was born. She is my mother.” —New York Evening Post. Booming First Bootteccer: How’s business, Bill? Seconp Boorteccer: Fine, fine, I’ve got two new mayors and a district at- torney on my payroll, and two judges, a chief of police and a prohibition agent are ready to sign up next.—Liberator, Grounds for Disbelief Irate CustoMer: Waiter, what sort of coffee is this? Warter: I believe it is French, sir. Irate Customer: Well, don’t you believe it any longer—Bystander, you have the oysters “R” month. : . Here’s a brand-new line for the sum- mer swain: “May I think of you by your first name?”—Brooklyn Eagle. ou will have to throw —Le Rire (Paris). Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in_U. S. Patent Office. $5.00 a_year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back numbers cannot be supplied. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. in Great Britain apply Lane, London, E. C., E1 For Reprint Rights to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter ngland. The foreign trade supplied ’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams_ Buildings, London, E. dian distributor, The American News Company, 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, Canada. No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two weeks prior to the date of issue to be affected. from Lire’ c. Ca By Magnificent New CUNARD S. S. “SCYTHIA” Specially Chartered Twin-Screw Turbine Oil-Burner, 20,000 Tons Sailing Jan. 30, 1923, returning April 2, visiting EGYPT Madeira, Portugal, Spain, Gibraltar, Algiers, Tunis, Holy Land, Turkey, Greece, Italy, Sicily, Riviera, Monte Carlo, etc. The “Scythia” is a veritable floating palace, with spa- cious decks, lounges, veranda cafes, 2 elevators, com- modious state-rooms with running water and large ward- robes; bedrooms and suites with private baths. The famous Cunard cuisine and service. (Only one sitting for meals.) Free optional return passage at later date by any Cunard steamer from France or England. Rates, $600 and. up, including shore excursions and all Membership limite?’ to 450 guests." Early resereations: Sitintic, Full information on request FRANK TOURIST CO. 489 FIFTH AVE..NEW YORK #742: :09°s 219 So.15°°ST., PHILADELPHIA Truth Courts the Light But Error Shuns It The chiropractor tells you his message in English because he wants you to understand. He doesn’t camouflage his ignorance with Latin. Truth is the same always and everywhere, and because the prac- tice of Chiropractic is based upon truth it is a universally efficient method. The laws of nature are the same yesterday, today, and forever; and because Chiropractic is based upon natural law, it does not change its explanation of dis- ease with the seasons. Since Chiropractic depends upon the operation of natural law for its results, chiropractors do not require faith or credulity of their patients. DEFINITION The practice of Chiro- practic consists of the adjustment, with the hands, of the movable ents of the spinal column to normal posi- tion for the purpose of releasing the prisoned impulse Ask Your Chiropractor for “The Last Word” Write for information regarding Chiropractors or Schools to the UNIVERSAL CHIROPRACTORS ASSOCIATION, DAVENPORT, 1OWA Chiropractic is a demonstrable science. It is the most efficient method of getting the sick well and any chiropractor will gladly show you just what he does, and tell you why he does it. L comicbooks.com