Life — July 27, 1922 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

You ride in cradled comfort No matter how rough and uneven the road, how long and tiresome thetrip, the baby, cradledin his mother’s arms, knows neither shock nor fatigue. This is because the mother automat- Hoo-Dye is regular equipment on the major- ity of the finest foreign tara, and in this country it is standard equipment on Cunninghams, while many thousands have been applied to Packards, Pierce - Arrows, Cadil- lacs, Studebakers, Mer- cers, Hudsons, Buicks and other of America’s best cars ically absorbs the shocks and cushions the child against them with the springy resiliency of her spine and arms. This same ease and freedom from uncomfortable motor trouble will be yours if you equip your car with Hoo-Dyes. This hydraulic device compels your car toride on liquid cush- ions and so eliminates the jounces and shocks due to uneven roads with theattendent wear and tearon yournervoussystem. Hoo-Dye is endorsed by leading physicians and osteopaths as a true health device because it is a protection and comfort to every motorist. If motoring wearies you or makes you conscious of your tired nerves, send for our book “How Motoring Shocks Affect the Nerv- ous System" by R. Kendrick Smith, M.D., D.O., one of America’s Call Tel-U-Where for Our Nearest Distributor foremost physician: should have a cop; motoring. Ride easy with Hoo-Dye Hydraulic Shock Absorbers. d osteopaths, ‘For your own health’s sake you end for it today and learn the health way of Tue Houpatte Company, 1418 West Avenue, Buffalo, New York Manufactured by the Houde Engineering Corp. Canadian Distributors: Canadian Fairbanks Morse Co., Ltd., Montreal HOO (HOUDAILLEY “DYE SHOCK ABSORBERS HYDRAULIC “WOMAN!” Eric: veome on, reg—out here! Peg: With my new costume on! It’s likely, isn’t it? —Passing Show (London). FOR g MEN OF BRAINS IGARS =MADE AT KEY WEST— OUR FOOLISH CONTEMPORARIES an No Encumbrances In happy anticipation of their ap- proaching annual holiday to the seaside Kenneth and Joan were playing at “boarding house,” with Joan in the rdle of applicant. “Have you parents?” in- quired Kenneth, with great stiffness of manner. “Yes, sir, two,” replied Joan timidly. “Sorry, ma’am, but we never take children who have parents,” said Kenneth; “no ’cumbrances here.” —London Morning Post. A Bit Mixed Porter (to lady traveler) : Beggin’ yer pardon, mum, but I suppose you don’t ’appen to know nobody wot ain’t stoppin’ "ere wot ain’t sent for nobody not to re- move no luggage nor nothing? —Royal Magazine (London). ‘ou say he’s a success as a sales- man?” “Success ! war histories at a peace conference.” —Stanford Chaparral. Why, that guy could sell He Wouldn’t Mind A teacher in one of the Primary grades of the public school had Noticed a striking platonic friendship that ex. isted between Tommy and little Joan, two of her pupils. J Tommy was a _ bright enough youngster, but he wasn’t disposed to follow his studies with much energy, and his teacher said that unless he stirred himself before the end of the year he wouldn’t be moved up to a new class. “You must study harder,” she told him, “or you won't pass. How would you like to stay back in this class an. other year and have little Joan go ahead of you?” “Oh,” said Tommy, “I guess there'll be other little Joans.” —Pearson’s Weekly (London), A Hard Day “T've had a hard day,” said the tired business man_aboard the evening train for home. “One of my office boys asked for an afternoon off to attend his aunt's funeral.g So being on to his scheme, as I thought, I said I’d go along too.” His friend chuckled. “Great idea! - Was it a good game?” “That’s where I lost out,” sadly ad- mitted the man of business. “It was his aunt’s funeral!” —Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph, The Three Ages Report by a schoolboy of a lecture on “Phases of Human Life—Youth, Manhood, Age”: “In youth we look forward to the wicked things we will do when we grow up—this is a state of innocence. In manhood we do the wicked things of which we thought in our youth—this is the prime of life. In old age we are sorry for the wicked things we did in manhood—this is the time of our dot- age.”—Boston Transcript. To a Nicety “This is splendid material for a bath- ing suit,” said tNe clerk, “for besides being fast color it is guaranteed not to shrink.” “In that case,” replied the sweet young thing, who should have blushed but didn’t, “I'll take a yard and a half less."—New York Sun. No Joy Left for Him “Brown shot the course in 79 yester- day.” “Ym sorry.” . “You're sorry? Why?” _ “From now on he’s doomed to be off his game for the rest of his life.” —Detroit Free Press. Free Dog Book noted specialist. Tells how to FEED AND TRAIN ur dog KEEP HIM {HEALTHY a CURE DOG DISEASES How to put dog in condition, kill fleas, cure scratching, mange,” dis- Gives twenty-five famous Q-W Doc REMEDIES and 150 illustrations of dog leads, training collet hermes, stripping combs, dog house, ee Bled re Ea Bost Bent, Ne day Dept. 19 Bound Brook, New Jersey comicbooks.com