Life — May 25, 1922 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE - them to shoot down the more unprincipled leaders right and left. Bates, my boy, have you ever noticed the similarity between kaise and kaiser? The entire affair has a suspicious look of militarism. ’Snasty.” “S'fierce,” agreed Bates, “drink up!” “What's more,” I continued after a slight pause, “the cuckoo-clock makers aren’t speaking to the wrist-watch artists. They’re jealous because more people want wrist- watches than cuckoo-clocks, these days.” “On ‘count smaller ‘partments,” volunteered Bates. “Nother drink?” We drank. There must have been something the matter with the Scotch, because I got lower and lower in my mind. “Bates,” I said after a while, “there you are. Think of it! Nice ol’ country ’f Willy Tell sittin’ on edge volcano likely to bust out in internal strife any minute . . .” Boo-hoo-hoo,” said Bates in a disingenuous fashion. “An'—an’, Bates,” said I, “the wood carvers. They're ying a thing but—but they’re sharpening their “Them—those—they too? It’s—it’s the new Red dawn,” sobbed Bates brokenly. . An—an’, Bates, when I left S-Swissalan’, I could see out on Lake Lucerne, sig-sig-significant black smoke coming from all three funnels Swiss—Swiss navy. Black smoke, Bates, black...” But the salt of Bates’ sympathetic tears was rapidly dis- integrating the ice in his glass. In utter melancholy we finished the bottle. “Bill,” said Bates to me, “this is a helluva worl’. . .” ‘ok Even so, it is better than Bates’ Scotch. H.W. H. One Idea NE day a Big Man had an Idea. The Idea had vitality. The Big Man knew the added glory it would bring his reputation, and told the Idea to the Reporter. 1e Reporter enclosed the Idea in a column of language and paid a week’s rent from the proceeds. The Magazine Writer saw the Idea and surrounded it with 4,999 other words. The Article paid the last instal- ment on the Ford. The Hack-Writer dashed off a Paragraph kidding the Article and bought baby the long-neéded pair of shoes. The Colyumist commented on the Paragraph to the value Euphrosyne of a dinner for himself and the Hack-Writer. : ‘ The Vaudevillian grabbed the Comment and got away OY is a beacon,—and why should we smolder it ? _ | with it, to shrieks of laughter. Care is a burden,—and why should we shoulder it ? \rt's The Son of the Big Man saw the show and told his Dad Mirth is a star of the sky. the joke. The Big Man roared. de- hat’s a new one!” he howled. “There’s originality!” Space is a guess, and the world’s an experiment; SSeS Oh. yes, we forgot. The Big Man got the Idea from 1 ite n'a gun. and ‘our anawer de Mertiment Aristotle, wh tc., etc. i =a A ” ates, fy WR Nothing is less than a sigh. The The Mob Love is a Harlequin, blithe and imperious; wild Post: My wife has asked everyone on earth she knows Youth is a Columbine, sweetly delirious, . to a party. . . Fresh in the promise of May. Parker: What sort of a shindy is it? A tea? two) Post: I call it a friendsy. Time is a pageant, and Now is the best of it; iTk- nse.” Why in the world should we fear for the rest of it! nore A NEEDFUL peace motto: “Don’t feed the hand that’s Dance in the glow of To-day ! biting you.” Bs: unds ging comicbooks.com