Life — April 27, 1922 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Aspirin WARNING! Say “Bayer”? when you buy Aspirin. Unless you see the name “Bayer” on tablets, you are not getting genuine Aspirin prescribed by physicians over 22 years and proved safe by millions for Headache Colds Toothache Neuralgia Neuritis Earache Lumbago Pain, Pain Accept only “Bayer” package which contains proper directions. Handy “Bayer” boxes of 12 tablets—Also bottles of 24 and 100—Druggists. Aspirin Is the trade mark of Bayer Manufacture of Monoaceticacidester of Salicylicacid Rheumatism || Reunion of the A. O. of J. | HE Ancient Order of Jests held | its four hundredth decennial con- || clave last week in the cold-storage vault j|of Lire’s offices. With that blended ||sense of timeliness and of love for the | antique so characteristic of the Order, ||the Campaign-orator Joke was elected \|chairman, and the Ouija Board, after a | spirited contest with the Congressional | Record, was made official reporter. joke,” said a prominent delegate, “but |the Ouija is less tedious.” that the salvation of the world from |;sham and ingrowing self-importance \lay in a return to the curative humor of Cervantes and Rabelais. “The purge for the ridiculousness of democracy,” | said he, “lies in more ridicule.” The Membership Committee recom- mended that the Free-verse, the Jazz, ||the Henry Ford and the Harold Bell || Wright Jokes be admitted to temporary ||membership, with the privilege of per- THE SUSPENDED SENTENCE She: There's the ermine I told you I | wanted. But you may find it a little— er—too dear. He: Not at all. The cost is nothing to me— “Oh, how wonderf—” “Since I don’t intend ouying it for ou.” —II Secolo XX (Milan). ten years; that the Josephus Daniels and the Burleson Jokes be granted only six months’ extension of probation, and that the Bryan Joke be made perma- nent. Prohibition was declared to be no joke. The Committee further de- y | plored the general flimsiness of the re- cent output of jokes, contrasting the decrepit quality of the new brethren with the indestructible youth of the Borrow-your-lawnmower Joke, the Ab- ., The reliable comen * Give full satlotact All threo kinds—20e per bottle. At dealers MAJOR MANUFACTURING CO. New York ‘Twe CAREY PRINTING CO. Inc. ‘New Yorn || “The Record is doubtless the biggest | | | In a keynote speech chortling with | ||mouldy quips, the chairman declared | ||manent affiliation should they survive | sent-minded-professor Joke and other - charter members. The Grievance Committee called at. tention to the criminal overworking of certain jests. The Neighbors’-hens-ip. your-garden Joke insisted there was no such thing as overwork, and the Lost. collar-button Joke, leaping nimbly to the platform, whooped: “When you ex. - perience that tired feeling, just take a M turn through the exchanges. I've done | it,” he cackled, “since the Stone Age~ and look at me now.” Nevertheless, the Committee exhibited the Limerick, so crippled he had to be carried up the aisle. “The newspapers have abused you shamefully,” sobbed the chairman. “But remember, although the infant mortality among jokes is terrible, quips | that survive forty or fifty years never die. Try to hold on.” The Order thereupon voted the Limerick twenty years of undisturbed repose in a Li brary of the World's Best Humor, as suring him that he would emerge some time as good as new. E.0.J. Hymnlet to Spring (By the Puzzle Editor) ING hey! and sing, moreover, ho! Sing hi! and, at your option, lo! Sing anything you want to sing, For ’tis *. Sing, birdlet in the treelet’s top Sing Lee, Sing Wah, Sing Foo, Sing Sing, workman! Sing, itinerant bum! Sing, all of you, for has come. * (Fill out blank and mail.) Real Vermouth— as made by us during 64 years of wine-making at Bordeaux, France. Just 5 ounces of pure alcohol re- moved from each bottle for use in this country. French or Italian Style. “Original Recipes” Tells you how! Send for your free copy. Restaurant & Wine Co. New York Office 483 West Broadway Local Distributors Desired comicbooks.com