Life, 1922-02-23 · page 8 of 34
Life — February 23, 1922 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents a modern, satirical retelling of the classic fairy tale. The illustration shows Goldilocks as a fashionable young woman in 1920s dress, lounging in what appears to be an urban park setting with three well-dressed bears. The satire updates the innocent children's story into Jazz Age humor: Goldilocks samples the bears' cocktails with "scientific rotation," stays up late at the Ritz nightclub, dances with the bears, and leaves via taxi—suggesting scandalous behavior and loose morals typical of "flapper" culture. The bears' resigned observations ("always trying to find something spicy in everything") mock both the rebellious younger generation and their own bourgeois concerns. The bottom dialogue between a sailor and girl provides additional period commentary on changing social conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OLDILOCKS had done the Three Bears’ house thoroughly. In con- scientious rotation she had sampled the cigarettes of the Big, Middle-sized and Little Bears, filling her case with those of the last named. She had tasted the Big Bear’s cocktail, but had found there was too much gin in it. The Middle-sized Bear's cocktail contained too much vermouth. But the cocktail of the Little Bear went down Goldi- locks’ ozzly-goozlum without any trouble. * LIFE Airy Fairytales Goldilocks and the Three Bears Then she had essayed the Big Bear's pogo stick, only to find the spring far too unyielding. The Middle-sized Bear’s pogo stick jounced her about too vio- lently. Finally she had had recourse to the pogo stick of the Little Bear, which proved so amusing that a final wild fit of hilarity cracked it in half and tumbled Goldilocks upon the floor. When the Three Bears returned from a rousing set-to of high ball at the Yale Club, they found Goldilocks asleep on the chaise longue of the Little Bear, The Sailor: Gee! kid, I’m tired! The Girl: Never mind, Eddie. They'll be scrappin’ half the navy soon an’ then you won't have so much to do. the silk of her hair mingling with the lace of the hand-embroidered pillow slip. “Oh, boy!” said the Big Bear i his Big Voice. “Oh, boy!” said the Middle-sized Bear in his Middle-sized Voice. “Oh, boy!” said the Little Bear in his Little Voice. Goldilocks awakened, smiled at the Three Bears impartially, and looked at her platinum wrist watch. “Oh, goodness!” she exclaimed, “I’m an hour late for the Ritz. Would you gentlemen mind finding me a taxi?” Gallantly, the Three Bears (who were very well known in W*ll Str**t) rushed to the front door. “Taxi!” cried the Big Bear in his Big Voice. “Taxi!” cried the Middle-sized !}car in his Middle-sized Voice. “Taxi!” cried the Little Bear in his Little Voice. “Now,” said Goldilocks, “whichever of you is the best dancer may go with me.” She put a dance record on the phonograph and danced with the Big Bear. But the Big Bear stepped all over her feet. Then she danced with the Middle-sized Bear. But the Micdle- sized Bear didn’t know any new steps. Then she danced with the Little lear. He was wonderful! So Goldilocks and the Little Bear drove off in the Little Bear’s taxi. * * x “T say,” said the Big Bear in his Big Voice, as he finished what was leit of his cocktail, “isn’t this the day that Little Bear’s wife has tea at the Ritz with her mother?” “T believe it is,” replied the Mirddle- sized Bear in his Middle-sized Voice. “Ho! Ho!” roared the Big Bear very suggestively, in his Big Voice. “Ha! Ha!” agreed the Middle-sized Bear in his Middle-sized Voice. They were horrid, cinnamon bears, always trying to find something spicy in everything. Henry William Hanemani. Jazz Mrs. Hisrow: Did the baron you had to dinner last night bring his cor- onet? Mrs. Newricu: he could play one. I didn’t even know comicbooks.com