Life, 1922-02-02 · page 34 of 34
Life — February 2, 1922 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and filler content** rather than political satire. The main items are: **Advertisements:** E.Z. Garters, dandruff removal (Liquid Arvon), cough syrup (Piso's), shoe lacing hooks, and Resinol ointment dominate the layout. **"Copy-Book Stuff"** (center): A collection of platitudes—cynical observations about human nature ("better to pound sand in a rathole," observations about women's buying habits, etc.). These are presented as worldly wisdom, likely satirizing the self-help aphorisms popular in the era. **"Simpson's Blue Ulster"** (right): A short satirical story mocking salesmanship and male vanity. Mr. Simpson wants a $75 coat, but a manipulative salesman (Mr. Blitz) flatters him into buying a $155 red-brown coat instead of the navy blue he requested—then Simpson must spend weeks justifying the purchase to his wife. The satire targets both deceptive retail tactics and men's susceptibility to flattery. The illustration shows a couple on a morning stroll, unrelated to the text.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘TRADE MARK REG. U. S. PAT. OFF, ‘THE ORIGINAL wibE GARTER More thana “‘Wide-Web’’ Garter Merely making a garter wide, does not ensure comfort to the wearer. No garter, whether wide or narrow, can be comfortable if it depends on tight- ness or binding adjustments to keep it up. Because of basic patents, the E. Z. Garter ersures perfect fit and comfort without adjustments or tightness. 35c to $1 everywhere, in singh nd th Ee Vater ane ine noe ee Sort Garter. Made solely by the Thos. Taylor Co., Bridgeport, Conn, An Easy Way to Remove Dandruff If you want plenty of thick, beautiful, glossy, silky hair, do by all means get rid of dandruff, for it will starve your hair and ruin it if you don’t. The best way to get rid of dandruff is to dissolve it. To do this, just apply a little Liquid Arvon at night before retiring; use enough to moisten the scalp, and rub it in gently with the finger tips. By morning, most, if not all, of your dandruff will be gone, and three or four more applications should completely re- move every sign and trace of it. You will find, too, that all itching of the scalp will stop, and your hair will look and feel a hundred times better. You can get Liquid Arvon at any drug store. A four- ounce bottle is usually all that is needed. ‘The R. L. Watkins Ohle. For Coughs and Colds Safe and S. ane PISO: This syrup is different from all others Pleasant —gives quick relief. Contains ‘no opiates—good for young and old 35¢ per bottle everywhere za es - LIFE Copy-Book Stuff T is better for a man to spend his life pounding sand in a rathole, if that’s what he wants to do, than to spend it in contemplation of the use- lessness of pounding sand in a rathole. a “T had rather,” says L. P., “be damned by a man who knows, than praised by a fool.” ® a ee White paper should be a vehicle for ideas—not a hearse for dead words. * * * I have about decided that being dis- satisfied with what she has bought is part of the fun a woman gets out of buying things. * * * With man as with the egg the de- termining factor in being hardboiled is the length of time either has spent in hot water. G. M. Simpson’s Blue Ulster R. BLITZ, please! - Something in an overcoat for Mr. Simp- son. Mr. Blitz will take good care of you, Mr. Simpson.” Mr. Simpson walks down the aisle with Mr. Blitz in a pleasant glow. Al- though he supplied the head salesman with his name when he came in, he ac- tually thinks that Mr. Blitz thinks that he is the old and valued customer, rec- ognized the moment he enters. Mr. Simpson and the little woman have decided that a blue ulster like the one he wore in 1912 would be the thing. It was such a good one—youthful without being giddy. Something in a plain navy blue, Mr. Simpson thinks he murmurs as Mr. Blitz leads the way. Mr. Blitz is glad Mr. Simpson came in to-day. He has a coat laid aside, having told the other salesman not to show it to any but a regular customer of the house. He will see if it is still here, When he comes back he has a red- dish-brown, sporty-looking affair, with blanket effect inside, belted all around, having a deep shawl collar. It is only $155 because it is the last of a small and exclusive lot. Mr. Simpson and the little woman had concluded $75 was about right for a coat. Mr. Blitz slips the red ulster on Mr. Simpson, remarks that he is certainly glad Mr. Simpson dropped in and asks whether he will wear it or have it sent. Mr. Simpson spends the next three weeks explaining to the little woman the great value of being well acquainted among the more exclusive shops, and the next three winters deciding to give the coat to the ashman. McCready Huston. ‘THE CAREY PRINTING CO Inc. NowroeK For Men Only who have missed Shoe Lacing Hooks Shoes with Lacing Hooks can be bought from Up-to-date Dealers. Insist on having what you want A Sealed Book “Huccome yuh jined dis heah nev} secret fritternul sassiety, Rastus?” / “T can’t tell yuh, Sambo. It am secret. A secret sassiety am sumt a man has to jine to fin’ out why he has jined.” THE MORNING STROLL “What, my dear friend, don’t you recognize me?” —Le Journal Amusant (Paris) Soothing and Healing Household Ointment for Cuts, Burns, Scalds, etc. Every home needs it comicbooks.com