Life — January 26, 1922 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ROPAGANDA seems to be best de- fined as arguments advanced by someone else. aL The first ten commandments are the hardest. JIL An epidemic of hiccoughs has been prevalent in Paris—News Item. “Lafayette, we are here!” ing from crossing the Canadian line with an automobile, +L If Congress is going to decline the bonus, here’s the way to do it: Bonus, bona, bonum, etc. aL $60,000 Fund to House Cats.—Headline. At how much purr? The world’s billiard championship, just won by “Jake” Schaefer, was once held by his father. The boy is evidently a chip off the old balk. . aL The Japanese idea seems to be that we must acknowledge their equality or they'll proceed to demonstrate their su- periority. aL “Who was it that started the superstition about Friday being an unlucky day?” asks a con- temporary. Oh, it was just some poor fish, aL The people who were shouting “No Beer, No Work” in 1919 didn’t know that they could get both in 1922. ig L eI L ES] aL Telephone operators should work eight hours and_ sleep eight hours, but not the same eight hours, =A aL According to a recent dispatch, poker and crap-shooting have become the latest craze in British society. London bridge must be falling down. aL The coal men cannot fuel all the people all the time. ENS a PILPG LIL LY LEM LA LI The $100.00 Prize The contest for. the paragraph to be published on this page during the months of October, November and December, was. won by Mr. George S._ Kaufman, of 150 West 80th Street, New York City, with the fol: lowing Life Line in the Nov. 17th issue: Just smile, says Charles M. Schwab, and times will be better. The trouble is that most people, upon reading this advice, are likely to spoil everything by laughing out loud. Although the editors had not intended to give a second prize, the following~Life Line (published Oct. 20th) by Mr. Paul A. Dailey, of 1550 Lincoln Avenue, Pittsburgh, was considered worthy of a special $25 award: Our statesmen declared that we fought to get nothing out of the war; and then made a present of it to the soldiers. The Life Lines reprinted on this page are the best that have appeared in this department since its inception. They have been widely quoted in newspapers and on the stage, and are therefore listed as “old stuff” now. But they give a comprehensive idea of the type of contribu- best HOE PASS) 1 foal =S2S6E6=a= LL Those ungrammatical — ouija messages are evidently English as she is spook Half of Chicago's police force, it is said, are bootleggers. ‘This is a terrible reflection on half of Chicago's police force. But which half? +L ‘The meat packers are going to reduce wages. At last the workingman is getting the choice cuts. JL The Armament Conference delegates were probably paid on a peace work basis. As we understand it, China doesn’t object to the Open Door so long as she is not called upon tions that the Life Line page has attracted. details of this contest, see page 31. For further to play the Open Doormat. aL There would be a great deal aL LPI IL GLE IL LY Ae LLL Indiana announces she has three hundred poets, knowing it would leak out anyway. JIL Capital punishment—the income tax. JL To be a New Yorker (says an adver- tisement) is to love fine coffee. Java hear such nonsense? Grover Cleveland Bergdoll’s application for German citizenship may be taken as a certain indication that Germany is not preparing a new war. JIL They are selling phonograph records to be played while one performs redueing exercises. The melody, of course, is “Oh, Listen to the Bant!” JL The word “Hooch” is a hybrid result- The newspapers report an intellectual slump in Europe. Anyway, they had some place to slump from over there. JL ‘very normal man has two ambitions. rst. to own his own home. Second, to own a car to get away from his home. aL Nothing is certain in this world ex- cept death and taxes, and now a lot of people are beginning to feel a bit skep- tical about death. aL Some of the geniuses in Greenwich Village may be genuine, but most of them seem to be freudulent. IL The real reason that a man swears at a dull razor is that the d— thing loses its temper first. more sympathy for the Chinese Shantung claims if they didn't put that glossy finish on collars. Many New York streets began as cow- paths. Time changes little. To-day they're stamping grounds for the bull. Lots of people seem to regard birth- control lectures as objectionable papa- ganda. aL “T cannot,” replied the lad to Old Mr. Washington, “tell a lic. I felled it with my little hatchet. But,” he added, with a thriftiness that helped make him Vir- ginia’s richest man, “inasmuch as I did fell it, I shall sell the cartoon rights io the incident, under the title, ‘When a Feller Needs a Friend.” In Cuba, all roads lead to Rum. comicbooks.com