Life — January 12, 1922 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OES reciprocity with Canada mean that we will have to send back the bottles? aL The United States is to have an airship built in Germany. A herrship, you might almost say. aL “If Winter Comes” is doubt- less the favorite novel of the senior class at the Col- lege of Mines. —L What China is trying to avoid, it seems, is the Opium Door. LL Reno, feeling that it is be- coming too notorious, is anxious to change its name. Well, why not Sue City? -L A Gordon label covers a multitude of gins. aL Is it too late, we wonder, to wish the arms delegates a Yappy New Year? aL A lot of European diplo- mats, it appears, still think that plebiscite is a new kind of tooth powder. F these parts. The French Government re- cently decorated Georges Carpentier, but not, as did M. Dempsey, on the point of the jaw. Society Woman Owns 67 Brands of Perfume—Head- line. Her colognial possessions, as it were. LL Now is the time for somebody to step up and invent a permanent shave. wL From the way the corporations con- tinue to behave, you’d think the only Sherman Act was marching to the sea. aL “Divorces are practically unknown in Sweden.”—News Item. Perfectly natural in the land of safety matches! bogs last month. Motto for the street-car magnates— “The Public Be Jammed.” aL Prohibition has changed not only the Constitution, but also the country’s buy- Local Gossip INERALLY speakin’, things hev slowed up eround Quite a lot of folks hev been out of work, especially since the frost ketched the cranberry Lem Stone sed he was aimin’ to start in pickin’, but acourse he couldn’t after the crop was spiled. Yep, that throwed him out 0’ work, so ef it hadn’t a been fer a spell o’ hives he’d been a-hevin’ probably Lem IL would hev been numbered among the unemployed all the fall. (To be continued) The significant feature of an American banquet is the dry toast. JL Ireland’s heraldic insignia will bear the legend, “We, Plus Ulster.” -L When Mr. Hays gets through human- izing the post office, he might try the same thing on the mail-truck drivers. aL Majorities mean nothing. During the flood only one man knew enough to get out of the rain. Congress might do well to consider re- ducing the tax on the average citizen's patience. aL At a farm sale in Aberdeenshire a working horse was sold for half-a- crown. Good opportunity for Rich- ard III to have picked up a bargain. aL In a dispute between Har- ding’s Association of Na- tions and Wilson’s League of Nations, just how much authority does Judge Kene- saw Mountain Landis have? -L The word “Bolsheviki,” we are informed, means “much more.” In our loose way of talking, however, it con- tinues to denote “too much by half.” All union workingmen have a striking resemblance these days. aL The British Journal of As- trology announces that “the year 1926 is destined to shake the world.” We had hoped that the shimmy craze would have passed by then. aL A pantomime actor may forget his lines, but he cer- tainly has to know his busi- ness. IL One of the results of Pro- hibition is that grapes «re no longer made into wine. They sim- ply dry up and become raisins. LL “Viscount Lascelles,” reads a dispatch from London, “personally selected the engagement ring for the Princess Mary.” , There is a rumor, also, that he himself, personally, will actually go to the wedding. LL Announcement of the winner in the one-hundred-dollar Life Line contest will be made in the January 26th issue. comicbooks.com