Life, 1922-01-05 · page 9 of 34
Life — January 5, 1922 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a "Life's Calendar for January" — a humorous historical almanac mixing significant events with satirical commentary. The page contains two illustrations accompanying calendar entries. The left cartoon (January 3rd) depicts a woman scolding a man about "writing it." The caption references the "Battle of Princeton" (1776), but the joke appears to be about domestic dispute — likely satirizing how people blame their spouses for not documenting or remembering important matters. The right cartoon (around January 13th, partially visible) shows someone reading, seemingly related to publishing or literary topics. These are **not** political cartoons about current events, but rather humorous historical vignettes using past dates as hooks for domestic comedy — a common Life magazine format of this era (1920s).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Afe’s Calendar January By Marc Connelly and George S. Kaufman 1—Su—NEW YEAR’S Day: 14,276 recipients of un- expected New Year’s cards send out 14,276 New Year's cards, dated Dec. 29. Betsy Ross born, 1752. _Emancipa- pation Act in effect, 1863. Parcel Post inaugurated, 1913; all parcels mailed on opening day safely delivered to ad- dressees, 1914. 2—M.— (( Twenty-five million persons, before throwins away New Year's cards, rub fingers over them to see i they are really engraved, 1922. First Olympic games; Nor- wegians break ski jumping records, 1453, B, C. Robbers Taid post office at Limerick, Ireland, presumably in attempt to get correct version of the one about the pelican, 1920. 3-Tu—Battle of Princeton 1877; Yale still favored in bet- ting, 1922. Half a million per- sons crack jokes about still writing it 1921, 1922. Balm ‘salesman driven out of Gilead, 3627 4—W.—Utah admitted to Union; call- : ed a Smoot operation, 1896. Publication of statistics for 1921 show 14,826 shines ruined by hostesses stepping on guests’ feet while searching for buzzers under dinner tables, 1922. David W. Griffith opens negotiations for film rights to Wells's “Outline of History” for the Gish sisters, 1922. ndians capture John Smith; Pocahontas real- izes it is Leap Year, 1608. “Battle of Kegs”; first use of American floating mines, 1777. Maine reports any snow- 5—Th— storm; Delaware peach crop gets ready to be ruin 1922. 6—F. —First telegraph instrument, 1838; first messenger boy joke, 1838. New Mexico admitted to Union, 1912. 7—Sa.—First Presidential election; Ohio not only doubtful but not even present, 1789. Millard Fillmore, thirteenth President, born, 1800. Bootleggers’ Chamber of Commerce predicts bumper year. 1922. 8—Su.— @ First annual Presidential message; average citizen reads a fifth of it, 1790, Battle of New Orleans, 1815. Tea discovered, 342 B. Seven million cups ruined by too much water, 1922. o—M. —First shot fired in Civil War, 1861. J. W. Schloss, New York architect, wins competition “for new Gloria Swanson coiffure, 1922. Patron consults soda fountain menu card before ordering his drink, 1987. 10—Tu.—Ethan Allen, 1789. Standard Oil Co. incorpo- rated, 1870. Standard Oil Co. attacked as trust, 1870. Harvey invents steel armor plate; dairy lunches serving on it, 1888. Villa killed by own men, 1916, 1917, 1918. 11:—W.—A. Hamilton born, 1804. Coshocton, Ohio, man discovers that new shoes are too tight before leaving store. 1891. Piece of ham accidentally falls into frying pan with egg, and ham and eggs are invented, Byzantium, 390 B.C. 12—Th.—John Hancock born; personally signs birth cer- tificate, 1737. Eli Whitney invents cotton gin, 1793. Ten million other inventors leave out the cotton, 1922. 13—F, —Sam’l Wocds- author ‘The Old Oaken Bucket,” born, 1785; parodies be- come moss cov- 1856. mag- nates hold an- nual meeting in New York; real news item ets onto sport- ing page, 1922, ~~ == xxxi days hath January 14—Sa.—British burn Capital at Washington; business goes on as usual, 1801. Machine for eating toast in bed without getting crumbs under the covers invented, 1937. 15—Su.—First American locomotive, 1831. First engineer photographed with watch for magazine advertisements, 1831, Federals capture Fort Fisher, 1865. F, Scott Fitz- geraid discovers the next generation, 1919. Garfield issues Heatless-Monday proclama- tion, 1918, Queen Liliuokalani of Hawaii deposed; $0,000 Americans have tongues ironed out, 1893, Eighteenth Amendment proclaimed in effect, 1920.’ Who cares? 1922. 17—Tu.—Benjamin Franklin, famous magazine publisher, born, 1706. Cain married; first mother-in-law joke, 8625 B. C, Rupert Hughes defends the movies, 1922. 18—W.— DPaniel Webster born, 1782. Electric signs en Broadway begin burning at noon, 1921. Season's first hurdy-gurdys appear; same tunes as last year, 1922. Electric trolley system patented; receiverships invented, 1892. 19—Th.—Robert E. Lee, godfather of famous steamboat, born, 1807, Edgar Allan Poe born, 1809. First Crusade started; Isadore Einstein arrested as spy, 1096, 20—F. —Robert Morris financier of American Revolution, born, 1734. Little Won: der Dyna- mite Com- pany pat- ents appara- tus for loosening salt in res- taurant salt cellars, 1922. 21—Sa.—Stonewall Jackson born, 1824. really shines a pair of shoes, 1906. ¥%& Queen Victoria dies, 1901. President Wilson coins “Peace without victory” in address to Senate, 1917. Everybody knows what ke meant, 1922. 23—M.—Congress appoints first Tuesday after the first Monday in November as national election day; those who wanted it to be the third Wednesday after ‘the second Friday want to know if there is any justice, 1845. 24—Tu.—Samuel Morse first demonstrates his telegraph code, 1838. James Wilson Marshal discovers gold in Cali- fornia, 1848." So do the movie men, 1910. 25—W.—Philadelphia man breaks shoe lace while not in a hurry to keep important engagement, 1918. World’s record established when initials pasted in’ derby hat remain in place for three days, 1920 26—Th.— off Thirty-two fashion magazines begin annual Palm Beach photograph season, thus greatly increasing the chances of the Socialist party, 1922. First settlement in Australia; kangaroos begin getting boxing lessons, 1788 27—F. —Edison patents incandescent lamp, 1880. Ten thousand persons discover they make a fine noise when they're smashed, 1880. Don’t-blow-out-the-gas joke fights for its life, 1881. 28—Sa.—Panama railroad completed; hatless passengers drive conductors frantic looking for place to stock ticket receipts, 1855. Shoe horn invented, 782. 29—Su.—William McKinley born, 1843. Kansas admitted to Union, 1861. First California Redwood used as public thoroughfare, 185 OJames G. Blaine born, 1830. Hours of col- lection printed on mail box in Tallahassee, Florida, turn out to be correct, 1906. Theatre ticket speculation stopped, 1901-1922, incl. 31—Tu.—Thirteenth Amendment adopted, 186.. One school child in Reading, Pa., is able to say what the Thirteenth Amendment is ail about, 1922. Actor takes a full three seconds to write a check during the action of a play, 1971. 16—M. — Pullman Porter 22—Su.— 30—M. — comicbooks.com