Life — December 29, 1921 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Good morning! Have you used Confidential Book Guide Parody Outline of History, by Donald Ogden Stewart (George H. Doran Co.). Extremely clever parodies of certain more or less notable and contemporary authors, and illustrated delightfully by Herbert Roth. The author is to be congratulated that this, his first book, should be such a fine example of book-making. Chivalry, a new and revised edition, by James Branch Cabell (Robert McBride & Co.). Mr. Cabell’s books are accorded a high place by some alleged American lit- terateurs. We have never succeeded in get- ting through any one of them, more’s the pity. We suspect him of being dull; or at vague enough to have acquired a lit- y reputation. Man With the Brooding Eyes, by Goodwin (G. P. Putnam's Sons). Ail nother detective story! After all, what a help they are at certain periods. This is a pretty good one. The Big Town, by Ring Lardner (The Bohbs- Merrill Co., Indianapolis.) The real thing in American .slang and humor, added to the story-telling gift. If you want to be amused, this is it. unch Drawings, by_ F. H. Townsend (Frederick A. Stokes Co.). A handsome volume of drawings by the late and very much lamented art editor of Punch, very notable book by a very notable artist, whose humor and technique have a perma- a t place in the art history of Great Britain, The Ruins of Ancient Civilisation and i crete of Christianity, by Guglielmo Ferrero (G. P. Putnam’s Sons). The lat- est of a series of histories of Rome—all of thm valuable contributions to historical literature. FOR ‘MEN OF BRAINS IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST— LIFE - A Completely Brand New Year (Continued from page 5) became millionaires in the old year wouldn’t loosen up for so much as a round of root beer for the New Year on account of thinking that if they had done things different when business was good, instead of one million dollars they could have made two.” “You mean that when somebody starts in to celebrate New Year’s, Fish- bein, he says to himself: ‘I feel it in my bones that 1922 is going to be a big year, so I will do a little rejoicing on account.’. Is that the idea?” Blintz asked. “It don’t make no difference whether it’s on account or in advance,” Fish- bein replied, “which even though it shouldn’t turn out as good as he an- ticipated, Blintz, it don’t do no harm that on anyhow one day in the year, a mam should be an optician and look on the bright side of things.” “Maybe not,” Blintz admitted, “but when it comes to paying a highwayman of a headwaiter ten dollars per person cover charge to celebrate my profits for the year 1922 while there are still three hundred and sixty-four days and a few odd hours to come out of the three hun- dred and sixty-five, Fishbein, I don’t care whether it would be in advance, on account, on memorandum or on speculation, Fishbein, I would sooner do my celebrating of all the prosperity I am going to have in 1922 on Decem- ber 31st, 1922, and make it a safe and sane C. O. D. celebration.” “Then you don’t think that 1922 is going to be prosperous?” Fishbein asked. « | I am a pants manufacturer, not a prophet, Fishbein,” Blintz said. “But I'll tell you this much: I am willing to commit myself to the extent of saying that 1922 would be prosperous enough for me and Mrs. Blintz to accept any invitation for this evening where the person inviting us has already engaged the table and paid the cover charge, Fishbein, but when it comes to engag- ing the table myself, Fishbein, I am quite content to be perfectly neuter about how prosperous the new year would be. “To my mind, Fishbein, nobody can say at this date what is going to happen to business in 1922. It will be prob- ably a touch-and-go proposition with quite a few business men being obliged to touch and some of the weaker ones being obliged to go, but so far as we are concerned, Fishbein, I shall be sat- isfied if we don’t have to neither touch or go, but can manage to hold on till times get better.” “Just the same, Blintz, I wish you a happy and prosperous New Year,” Fishbein insisted. “You're welcome,” Blintz said. The Truth I suppose the reason people are so discreet in telling the truth is because it is usually the part of a statement which is most doubted. A man wrote me the other day that he believed everything else I had ever said about Mennen Shaving Cream because he had proved it, but that he nevertheless still rates me a first-class liar because I keep insisting that Mennen’s works as well with cold water as with hot. He said he hadn’t tried it and wasn’t going to but it didn’t stand to reason that a cold water shave could satisfy. No doubt thousands of men refuse to take my word for it that Mennen’s does not have to be rubbed in with fingers—shouldn’t be rubbed in—is actually less efficient when rubbed in. Just because of their skepticism these men go on, morning after 1orning, mussing themselves all up, getting pajama sleeves full of lather and irritating their skins with finger friction, when a single trial would convince them that Mennen brush-built lather will so prostrate a beard that a heavy duty razor actually loses traction and skids. While we are on this subject of truth in advertising I want to express an abstract thought. What chance would I have to get away with claims for imaginary virtues of Mennen’s? Advertising doesn’t hypnotize your beard nor anaesthetise your hide. As a matter of fact, any favorable impression which my moderate statements may have established in your mind will seem almost negative compared to the actualities of your first joyous shave with Mennen’s. As children say, I haven’t told you the half of it. Why not send 10 cents for my demonstrator tube and end the suspense? ° bee (Mennen Salesman) THe Mennen Company Newark, fV.J. USA. comicbooks.com