Life — December 22, 1921 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Mother, Ethel wore your necklace to the last party we went to. Don’t you think it’s my turn to wear it?” The Briary Bush “The Briary Bush” has strange, fascinating episodes, such that when Rose-Ann and Felix, glorying in the fullness of youth, jump naked into newly ‘piled- up heaps of snow.—Chicago Lit-. erary Note. T was a happy couple Fed up with movie shows, And they jumped into a Briary Bush And scratched off all their clothes. And when they found their clothes were gone, : With all their might and main They jumped into a pile of snow And froze them on again. : Oliver Herford. Obituary ISTRUST—In Washington, D.C., Racial Distrust, beloved daugh- ter of Jingo and Yellow Journal Dis- trust, sister of Ignorance and Hysteria Distrust and the late Propaganda Bunk of Germany. Death caused by sudden shock from plain talk. The funeral will take place from the Pan-American Building at the convenience of the Lim- ited Armament delegates. The public is invited to attend. Bouquets grate- fully declined. Burial in the Pacific Ocean. Deceased was a member of Hearst Hop Smokers, Army Contract- ors’ Mutual Benefit Association; and honorary member of many pessimistic debating societies. Japanese papers, please copy. ~ Why Cut Us Off From Beri. Beri? ‘HE latest discovery of science merits our most respectful atten- tion. It is declared that if one sees to it regularly and persistently that there are enough vitamines in one’s food one will not get beri-beri. This appears to our more courageous instincts as highly unfortunate, and should be appropriately viewed with alarm. We have not only enjoyed most of the fatal diseases which the doctors hitherto have been so generous in pre- senting to us, but have gained from them a fuller and richer experience of life. Why at this late date should we be cut off from beri-beri? Ever since we first heard of beri-beri we have been secretly possessed by a desire to have it. It is due—so the scientists tell us—to a lack of vitamines. But how can we be sure that we are not eating vitamines? The truth is that science—upon which we have come to rely for most of our sufferings-—has, in this instance, fallen short of that ideal which we had a right to expect. Science refuses to tell us how we can locate a vitamine, how we can creep up on it and sandbag it before it enters our system. This is what we don’t like about science. This is what disiurbs us and makes us nervous about the fu- ture. Science admits that it hasn't seen a vitamine, that all it knows is that it is there. No food is safe. Just when you think you are not getting any vita- mines, they may be crowding in upon you, making it quite impossible for you even to get the first symptoms of beri- beri. - T. L. M. Some Yuletide Reflections HHRISTMAS comes but year— Fact that’s never fussed me, For, despite its wealth of cheer, If ’twere oftener I fear It would wholly bust me. x ok * once a The Mistletoe is all well enough in its way, but he is a poor sort of man who cannot do his duty without it x ok * Prohibition has put the flaming plum- pudding out of business, the mocern substitutes for cognac having proved a failure. A plum-pudding lit by elec tricity, or saturated with gasoline, lacks convincing qualities. John Kendrick Bangs. ( lee ing liz ply nat wei lef at wor any I bro side on Spe for: cou that it n T this frot son: ism, I fe time tirel the aro turc comicbooks.com