Life — December 15, 1921 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“I Stopped Poisoning Myself!” How I reduced the chief cause of premature old age these body wastes to a minimum and get rid of new wastes as thoroughly and promptly as possible, you have helped immensely to ward off the chief factor which causes premature old age. Although I considered myself in pretty good health, I went to my friend, Dr. - several months ago, for acomplete examination. In fact, it was on my sixtieth birthday, and I went largely to please my wife. “Pm going to have you take some- thing that will do this very thing. It’s not a medicine at all, but something you will enjoy taking. It’s Paradise ‘Water, from Paradise Spring in Maine. Have your grocer bring you a case, and drink it regularly, to the exclusion of any other water. Drirk it plentifully— at least two quarts a day. When he was through the doctor said, smiling but also with a note of seriousness: ‘‘Well, John, you’ re not what I'd call a sick man, but the chances are you will be before long if you’re not more careful. In a nut- shell, you’ve been neglecting yourself all these years—eating more than you should—not exercising enough—not eliminating properly—and now your kidneys are feeling the effects of being overworked. “Paradise Water will benefit you because its remarkable purity and sol- vency give it the power to eliminate the mineral and poisonous wastes of the body. It will give your system the reg- ular and frequent washing out that it needs. It will give your kidneys the rest that they need, too. In fact, it will make a new man of you!’’ “French scientists claim that ‘as the kidneys are, so are all the organs of the body.’ You see, John, the func- tion of the kidneys is to remove most of the poisons and mineral impurities either produced by the body or brought into it through the things we eat and drink. Overtax the kidneys with such impurities and the latter accumulate, gradually lodging in the cellular tissue and joints of the body, and finally bringing about a serious heart and ar- terial deterioration. Its a fact that when folks die, they almost always die of poisons! To make a long story short, I did exactly what my friend advised, and already am enjoying the benefits. To anyone else who wants to preserve his health and increase his years of useful- ness and well-being I say: Write to the PARADISE SPRING Co., Bruns- wick, Maing, for a free copy of their valuable booklet, “The Story of Par- adise Spring.’’ This will point out the “Tf, on the other hand, you reduce sure road to better health. At Grocers or Druggists — Natural or Carbonated—A Delightful Table Water, too. PARADISE WATER GIVE A CIGARETTE EJECTOR for XMAS! Something new in “smoke” cases. Just press the button, that’s all. Easy to secure igarette without crushin; gift every smoker enjoy. paid, with your card, to any address, Solid Sterling Silver case, hand en; design, $16.00. cel Silver: giok Lae plated case, han 2 You! : Engraved design, o willbecome $5.00, Brass— = nickel plated— tomorrow hore stamped design [as illustrated, $1.51 Order Lee yetaairs Xmas problem. Agents—send $1.50 for sample case and exclu- sive territory proposition. THE LYONS LEVEL & TOOL CO. Dept. EL, New Haven, Conn. king a gift of a bit of saddlery to the experi rider itis well to remember that his first choice is Whitman, Designs ond prices upon request (HS PERRING CAMPBELL, co. Broadway; Cincianat, New Yert—€9 Chambers St. ‘Chicage—1329 8, Michigae Ave. How Prohibition Breeds Theft OME results of prohibition are good; others are far from satisfac. tory. A lady was saying, “The two men we had in our house last winter are jn Sing Sing. Nice men they were, too, j and did well by us.” “Well, how was that?” “They left us and took service with someone else in the country. After a while they left him. One night they got a motor car, some suit-cases, some tools, and went out to his country place to steal his rum. After they left him he had had a steel door put on his wine closet, and they could not get through it with the tools they had, so they gave up and came back to town. When they stopped to cross the street a policeman happened to look in their car, thought the suit-cases were suspicious, the bur- glar’s tools still more so, and took them to the station-house. They had hardly got there before a telephone message came about the burglary. It wa plain case and they were sent tc Sing Sing. They never took anything from us and from that house where they went to get the wine they took nothing I think it is pretty tragi Of course, it is tragic and it illus- trates the demoralized state of mind that a great many people are in about other people’s rum. They will steal it if they can, though they would not steal anything else. They will steal it partly because it is valuable and very casy to sell; partly also, perhaps, because it does not look fair to them that some people should have drinks while most people cannot get them. But burglary is burglary and courts make no fine distinctions about rum. Bored AM weary of making change to drop into telephone slots, of women with salmon-colored stockings, of giv ing the excuse that I am going to Bos- ton when I wish to avoid a dinner party, of hearing about a friend’s boot- legger who... , of checking my: hat in restaurants, of telling the taxi driver where I live, of cutting my chin every time I shave, of cudgeling my brains to make a new drink with gin, . . . of telling women that I cannot live with- out them... . Not So Bad Mike: Did you sell the pigs’ Pat: I did. Mike: » What did you get? Pat: Well, I didn’t get as much a T expected to, but IF didn’t expect to Lioyp Georce at the disarmament conference would be something like @ lion in a den of Daniels. R (The Th lated novel, scene’ Valen Th Snow server All The s sional tremel The Will : sion ¢: two-re The new G as the The tional - wastes Lad weird lessons George someon The An un gerous dren 1 Whi in it— whole Pete Reid, f ina st Du Ma Thec cline an verted cast of The ists —W Wom satirical Loos, ai Ench Davies picture Fight Desmor Mexica Musket. anda fi Little its—M least. fr and int streen Neve Lloyd ci to thos and to 3 tense ¢ Plete a ¢ any com The J A sense! advertisi Schnitz I structure Was rem For | of the N ‘The Lo Mutual comicbooks.com