Life, 1921-12-01 · page 15 of 58
Life — December 1, 1921 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top cartoon shows a domestic scene where a young boy ("Willie") describes his Christmas stocking contents to visitors. The humor relies on the contrast between what parents *expect* children to find in stockings (skates, sleds, toys, candy) versus what Willie actually received—practical items like books and a wheelbarrow. The joke satirizes either parental miserliness or the tension between children's desires and adult pragmatism. Below are three literary pieces: a prose anecdote about military service, a poem titled "Compensation" about saving money for Christmas, and "A Modern Child Says"—a humorous monologue where a child boasts about learning to drive, establishing himself as precocious and somewhat insufferable. The page represents early 20th-century domestic humor focused on childhood, consumerism, and generational attitudes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Visitor: What did you find in your stocking, Willie? “A pair o” skates, a sled, a airgun, a catcher’s mitt, some candy, two books an’ a wheelbarrow— but to tell ye the truth, it wasn’t my stockin’ I hung up.” swum the English Channel. While the late war was in progress I commanded a division of infantry throughout the Somme offensive, and later became a prominent ace in the air service. I am also a great favorite with the ladies. “I can construct anything from a watch to a harvester and reaper, I can speak fluently in every language, dead or alive, and I am particularly apt at whistling through my teeth. I can run a hundred yards in nine and four-fifths seconds. I can also wiggle my ears, and do some thousands of card tricks. I can decipher a time table with no dif- ty whatsoever. I know what Leo- ‘o’s Mona Lisa is smiling about—” “Wait,” I cried in desperation. “You can do all these things perfectly—the mastery of any one of which would be considered a creditable accomplishment for an average man—and yet you are not satisfied. Why?” “T can do all those things—yes,” he replied. “But, imposing as they may seem, they pale into insignificance com- pared with the one thing that I can not do.” I arched an interrogative eyebrow. have taken a bath nearly every day of my life’—there was an obvious tremor in his voice as he spoke—“but T have never once been able to regulate the spigots in the tub so that the water will turn out to be the right tempera- ture. It is always either too hot or too cold. Furthermore, I know per- fectly well that no matter how hard I try, I shall never succeed in getting it exactly right.” And with that he broke into a series of violent, convulsive sobs. I walked away, for the spectacle de- pressed me. There is nothing, I have always felt, quite so contemptible as a fallen idol. A Modern Child Says: “YT HAD a hard time keeping my face straight to-day when I was out in the car with Father and he told me he had decided it was time for me to learn to drive. He picked out a nice, quiet road and showed me how to start the engine, shift the gears, set the brakes and everything. You can’t imagine how much he enjoyed showing me. It made me ashamed, really, and almost sorry that I had learned to drive three years ago in Skinny Brown’s car. But you should have seen how pleased and proud Dad was when he stalled the en- gine on the railroad tracks while ex- plaining to me how to avoid it and I spoke up and told him how to get off. He’s telling the neighbors now how quick I pick things up.” McCready Huston. Compensation | es year I saved up ninety cents, But Christmas was a great expense ; I spent the whole of it before I found there wasn’t any more. And that was terrible, because I had forgotten Santa Claus! That's why, this year, I simply can’t Give presents to a single aunt Or to a parent or a friend. I had a hundred cents to spend— And haven't any left, because I spent it all on Santa Claus. I bought him first a horse and bridle For summer days when he is idle; A drum, to cheer him on his rides, And lots of pleasant things besides. I think the rest won't mind, because I’ve made it up to Santa Claus! Virginia Woods Mackall. FANNING: Did you have any luck with the home brew formula I gave you? DasHeER: fit to drink, but I sold the recipe to a magazine as vers libre. The stuff it made wasn't It’s better to be cursed with money than—without it. comicbooks.com